We have all been there.  It may have been a situation where a family is struggling with the loss of a loved one or the aftermath of some tragedy.  It may be when confronted or asked a difficult question.  It may have been one of those “awkward” moments where you were one of the ones feeling the tension of painful silence.  In all of these scenarios, we may well be thinking, “Somebody needs to say ‘something.'”  Some of us may go further and thing that “somebody” means “us.”

I would love to be privy to Peter’s thought processes on those occasions where he “popped” off in one of those tense moments.  We have long considered Peter “Mr. Impetuosity.”  Indeed, he could be rash and reckless with his tongue.  The account of Jesus’ transfiguration (i.e., “his clothes became shining, exceedingly white, like snow, such as no launderer on earth can whiten them”-Mark 9:3) seems to me to at least have a humorous tinge to it despite the significance of the moment showing the superiority of Christ over the leading lights among Old Testament leaders and prophets.  Mark 9:5 shows Peter spouting off his grand plan to build three tabernacles for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah.  But, why did he spout?  The text says, “Because he did not know what to say” (6).  That makes me smile because I can relate!  Anyone who knows me well knows I have had occasions where I spoke to break the awkward silence and tension of the moment and not always with the most eloquent results.  Can you relate?
What can help us avoid doing the wrong thing when we don’t know what to say?

First, think before you speak.  How much damage control would be done if we ran our comments through an internal, mental filter?  “How will this sound?”  “Is my attitude right?”  “Am I giving thought to tone?”  “What about message content?”  “Is it the right thing for the moment?”  “Will this be helpful or harmful?”  Of course, common sense is assumed to be a part of this internal process, but just pausing to think will be of great benefit.  The book of Proverbs repeatedly mentions the prudent man as one who carefully maintains the tongue at crucial times (12:23; 13:16; 17:28).  He thinks before he speaks.

Second, think about whether you should speak.  The old adage “silence is golden” has lost favor in this information age.  We are accustomed to noise, even at times where silence is the natural, obvious choice.  Job’s friends excelled when they first came to Job.  They just sat with him.  It was the best thing they could have done.  Unfortunately, thereafter, they said just about every wrong thing that could be said.  Sometimes, we should not say anything.  We should either be content to “be” or, as is usually the case, focus on being a learner and observer rather than a lecturer or orator.  There are occasions when the think we do not say is the very best thing we could say (by our example).

Third, think about what is the best thing to speak.  Several books and articles have been written to recommend what should or should not be said in difficult moments.  It is a biblical concept that we should shape our speech with supplication and study.  In other words, let us pray about saying the right things and fill our heart with the Word so that “God’s language” is a regularly part of our mental makeup and verbal vocabulary.
Peter reminds me that I am in good company when I misspeak, either out of fear, doubt, or cluelessness.  But, he also shows me what it looks like when I do.  That motivates me to want to try to always let my “speech be with grace, as though seasoned by salt, so that [I] will know how [I] should respond to each person” (Col. 4:6).
Neal Pollard