…THE DESIRE TO talk is a behavioral tendency, not a gender issue…

There are men who love to talk and there are women who love to talk.  The fact that a man wants to talk does not mean he is weak.  The most powerful men in the world are those who know how to communicate and negotiate.  Every day the heads of countries sit down with other leaders and discuss delicate issues that will alter the course of our world.  Many businessmen daily negotiate multimillion-dollar deals that create our national economy.

So the real issue about communication is not a “male-female” issue; it is a value issue.  We talk to people whom we value about things we value:  We transact business deals; we broker loans; we answer questions for customers.  Why?  We value the paycheck.  That value gives us the emotional resources we need to communicate.  Then when we come home, we expect our mates to do all that we want out of obligation.  We want the emotional payday, and we certainly want the passionate payday.  But are we willing to invest in our relationships as we are in our jobs?

What does that mean, you ask?  Let me put it this way:  Are you interested in your mate’s life?  Do you want to know about his or her day?  Are you interested in what your spouse has experienced and accomplished?  Are his or her feelings really important?  Is your mate precious enough that you care about his or her life?  Communication is a signpost along the road to affection and passion.  If you don’t see one, you are lost and traveling down the wrong path.  Dr. James Richards, “Safe Communication,” We Still Kiss, 139-140

“There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.”  Proverbs 12:18

–Mike Benson