A man joins together with his wife; he contributes one cell to their baby and she contributes one cell. Those two cells join together and then they split into 4 cells, then into 8 cells, then 16 cells, then 32 cells… At some point (and we don’t know when), God sends a spirit into those cells and that mass of physical matter turns into a human being. As incredible as it sounds as that baby is multiplying and growing, it also has within it, within its own DNA, an appointment with death.
Human beings are born to die. It is as much a part of life as anything is. Yet, we still fear death. The Hebrew writer nails it in Hebrews 2:15 when he says that human beings are slaves to the fear of death. Ever since biblical times, no one has ever come back from the dead. We do not know what it is like. How does it feel when you breathe your last breath? We don’t know. What’s it like to cross over the Jordan River? We don’t know. Nobody ever comes back to tell us.
What happens when we die? How do we deal with death ourselves? How can we help someone else who has to deal with death? That’s the topic of our study this evening.
Here are some basic skills we need in order to effectively counsel others:
Listen well
Patience
Wisdom
Open-mindedness
Confidentiality
Be neutral
Don’t ever say, “I know how you feel.” I’ve lost my mom and dad but that doesn’t mean I know how you feel about the loss of your parents.
Compassion / love
Empathy
Education – knowledge (of Scripture)
Willingness to learn
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE TEACH ABOUT DEATH?
Genesis 5 – the phrase “and he died” appears eight times. Relative to Enoch, the phrase “for God took him” replaces this phrase “and he died.” The patriarchs knew that life existed beyond the grave. The statement “and he was gathered to his people” used half a dozen times in the Law of Moses shows that they understood you lived beyond death. They did not know about a resurrection but they believed in life after death.
Genesis 35:16-20 illustrates to us that the spirit leaves the body at death. In fact, the text sounds like it is a process of leaving, not necessarily instantaneous.
The spirit of Samuel was able to speak to the living from Sheol in 1 Samuel 28. There are a few resurrections in the OT. Elijah raised the widow’s son in 1 Kings 17. Elisha raises a young boy from death also, in 2 Kings 4. When Elisha died, he was buried and then another dead man was being buried in the same cave and the dead body inadvertently contacted the bones of Elisha and the dead man came to life.
Job asked the question in Job 14:14, “If a man dies, will he live again?” And he answers his own question in 19:25: “As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will take His stand on the earth. Even after my skin is destroyed, yet from my flesh I shall see God.”
Of course, the nature of death and the afterlife become much clearer when Jesus comes to earth. Then we learn in Acts 9 that Dorcas was alive, even though her body was dead, specifically verses 37 (the body was laid in the upper room) and 39 (“while she was with them”). We are familiar with James 2:26 that the “spirit without the body is dead.”
So fundamentally, death happens with the spirit leaves the body. But, when does the spirit leave the body? I had lunch with a Christian medical doctor a few years ago, down in KY, and I asked him that: How do you know when someone is dead? When the spirit has left the body? There are a series of things that doctors look for: obviously, the heartbeat, breathing, checking the eyes to see if the pupils are large and unreactive. Tests can be done to determine if there is any brain activity. I have been in the hospital room twice when patients have breathed their last breath and the spirit left the body. In both those occasions, the person took one last breath, noticeably, and then relaxed.
What can we do / say to help someone cope with their own death?
Share with them the teachings of the Bible.
Help them get spiritually ready for death.
Help them get their other affairs in order. Help them understand that their family will be able to adjust and continue with their lives.
Death is scary for most people; yet, it comes to every one of us. Jesus came to relieve us from the fear of death. We need to do what we can to share His relief.
Paul Holland