I have had the sad experience over the years of meeting Christians who, in their old age, were bitter, cynical, or just plain hateful. Such individuals tend to make small things big, thereby producing “mountains out of molehills.” They speak of the “good old days” but fail to see the good days of the present and the joyful days that could be theirs in the future. They refuse to change where change is necessary. Such individuals have not grown old gracefully. They have become the very burden upon their children that they so desperately wanted to avoid.

David once wrote, “I have been young and am now old. Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread” (Psa. 27:25). A most comforting thought to this aging preacher is the realization that God understands that my sight will fail, that my hearing will diminish, and that my memory will gradually give way. That said, how can I grow older gracefully? Here are some suggestions.

First, we can remind ourselves that old age can be a time of usefulness, if we so choose. The key word here is “choice.” It will not be easy. The older we get the more we are tempted to want to become inactive. When Ty Cobb was 70, a reporter asked him, “What do you think you’d hit if you were playing these days?” Cobb, who was a life-time .367 hitter, said, “About .290, maybe .300.” The reporter asked, “That’s because of the travel, the night games, the artificial turf, and all the new pitches like the slider, right?” “No,” said Cobb, “it’s because I’m 70.”

Alan Smith gives the following sage advice:

Truth is, old age frightens most of us.  I think Jonathan Swift was right when he said, “Every man desires to live long, but no man wants to be old.” Old age should be something looked upon with honor and respect.  The Jews were commanded, “You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man…” (Lev. 19:32).

But we live in a society where youth is glorified, so age is something you cover up or deny.  The talents and skills of the elderly, acquired over a lifetime, are often ignored.  Perhaps, a sense of not feeling of value to others leads to questions of value in the sight of God.

Even David expressed his fear when he prayed to God, “Do not cast me off in the time of old age; Do not forsake me when my strength fails.” (Psa. 71:9). Fortunately, we know that God will not forsake us then (or at any other time).  Though we may not be able to do at 70 what we could do at 40, there is much to be offered (both to God and others) in the “golden years” (email article).

If you want to grow old gracefully, make the choice to stay active early in life.

Second, train yourself to acquire a sweet disposition and kindness of character, even in the most difficult of situations. Do this before you get old. Many years ago, my late wife became very close to a sweet elderly woman in the congregation where I was preaching. When asked how she could remain so sweet in her later years she answered: “I made the decision to have a sweet disposition when I was young. So, I set about to develop those traits in expectation that they would stay with me as I grew older.” Kindness, goodness, self-control – these are character traits that we must incorporate into our lives early on. Then, and only then, will we be able to hold on to them in our later years.

Third, mediate upon the wonderful hope we have of something better when this life is over. Someday, if we remain faithful to our Father, we will be able to exchange this body for one that is pain free. One author put it this way: “Approach the twilight of life with joy and hope. Approach the last of life with eagerness, not gloom. For the last of life is the best of life” (Mary Louis Forrester).

You see dear reader, it boils down to choice. And while there are some things (OK, in this case lots of things) we cannot control, we can still choose how we will look at life as life itself slips away. My mom wrote the following poem sometime in the early 2000’s. With it I shall close this week’s “Tom’s Pen.”

My Only Choice

The windows of my eyes are dirty

And sounds are jumbled voice.

I sit in silence,

But I have no other choice.

Time will make its changes

And sound will have no voice

As shadows bring the darkness.

There is no other choice.

Finally in virtual darkness

Where sound will have no voice

The days will become a night

There is no other choice.

God’s light will always be with me

And His love will be my voice

To walk in Heavenly pathways;

His Love and Life my only choice.