I once heard an older preacher speak some of the most practical, yet difficult pieces of advice I have ever heard. He told those of us in the room, “When you don’t take things personally, it will change your ministry forever.” These words were spoken in the context of the various grumblings, mutterings, and criticisms that have become stereotypical of ministry.

Truth be told, any role we accept is going to be fraught with grumblings and criticisms…whether that be a job, marriage, parenting, volunteer, Christian, etc. Unfortunately, too many people today have been conditioned to internalize these criticisms as all-out assaults. Such response causes them to spend so much time nursing the pain of wounded pride that they are incapable of figuring out if there is something to be learned which can better their work and person. However, by learning to get past the hurt feelings and not internalize such comments, our effectiveness can skyrocket because we wind up growing and proving ourselves to be above the accusations (see 1 Peter 3:16-17).

Consider these suggestions of how we can begin moving toward this kind of character strength.

1)    Remember that you don’t know what their full circumstances are. Oftentimes criticisms come from those who are having their own turmoil or doubts. They also tend to come when something the criticizer holds dear has been violated, somehow. Taking the time to try and understand the frame of mind or thought process behind the comment will increase the chances that resolution can be found.

2)    Understand that it may not be about you. Like it or not, there are times when we take out our frustrations on those who have nothing to do with the source of that irritation. Occasionally you might have happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, finding yourself in the way when someone’s frustrations boiled over.

3)    Look past the harsh words and consider the critique. As stewards of ministries, and managers of people, we must develop the art of sorting through the junk to find the usable information. A person’s harshness does not completely invalidate a good point they may be making. If you can learn to sort through the emotion and get to the valid critique, you may very well find that little nugget which makes your ministry better.

Again, criticism is going to come, and sometimes it will be harsh. It is foolish for me to tell you that it won’t hurt. But I can tell you that it is possible be the kind of leader who does not take them personally. It’s hard to live out, but great advice to listen to. “When you don’t take things personally, it will change your ministry forever.” God bless you, your families, and your ministries.

Cory Waddell