“The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”
(Proverbs 14:1)
I went by a construction site and was surprised to see a number of women working; hauling lumber and cement and driving the huge trucks. While this is becoming more common, it is still something we’re not used to seeing. Unless, that is, you’re referring to the home.
In this proverb Solomon stated an important and fundamental truth: women make or break the home. How can this be the case?
Women make or break the home by the way they spend their time. There are many distractions today, from neighborhood activities to TV shows (we’ll not even mention the opportunities to waste time on the computer). Wise women recognize that time is valuable and use it for the construction of a good home environment. As all women know, there is much to do at home in order for it to function smoothly. Wasting time on frivolous activities will break a home apart every time (cf. 1 Tim. 5:13).
Women make or break the home by the way they develop themselves spiritually. The fact is, everyone – male and female – will stand before God in judgment. The woman’s spiritual development is not tied to that of her husband. Equally her spiritual weakness is not his fault. She is responsible for her own soul, period. That said, women who devote their time to their own spiritual development are doing a great service to their homes. Her spiritual example, and her ability to instruct in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20) build a great home for God. Sadly, the foolish woman can be such a pathetic example of righteousness that she brings the household down with her. This is why Paul says that she must develop herself “so that the word of God will not be dishonored” (Titus 2:5).
Women make or break the home by the way they treat their husbands. Her number one priority (outside of her devotion to God) is her husband (Titus 2:4). Her homebuilding skills will cause him to see her as a gift from God (Proverbs 18:22; 19:14). She will be his “crown” (Proverbs 12:4). Foolish women do not respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33), do not recognize his role in the family. This woman destroys her husband. She is “rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4). In addition, she may be immoral. That sin alone has torn down a majority of homes. This is why the older women need to encourage the younger women to be pure (Titus 2:5).
Women make or break the home by the way they treat their children. Today there are more women who have full time jobs then there are homemakers. This has had devasting effects upon the children. These “latch-key kids” find empty houses when they get out of school. This is when many of them get into trouble. The foolish choices of mom has her tearing down her house “with her own hands.” I’m thankful that my mother was home every day when I returned from school (frequently with cookies; always with a hug). Paul says that women need to “love their children” (Titus 2:4).
Every woman, especially every wife and mother, needs to think seriously about this proverb. There are only two categories. Into which one do they fit?
Denny Petrillo