First, the Bible: “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right” (1 Peter 2:13-14).

One of the weakest aspects of our public school system in 21st century America is that too few parents support the teachers in conflicts with their children. It seems far too many parents automatically assume that their child is always right and the teacher is always wrong. That is a far cry from my dad’s philosophy: if you get spanked at school, you’ll get another at home. There has to be a balance between the two extremes.

When we lived in Romania, we had Jewell in a public school. That school had an Orthodox priest who came by once a week (if memory serves me correctly) to teach some aspects of their religion. Rachel and I did not have a problem with Jewell sitting in that class. The priest then began teaching the children to “make the sign of the cross” and he told a story about how a child was killed by a bear (if I remember correctly) because he did not make the sign of the cross. Jewell was in 2nd grade. Having sufficiently terrified the kids, he went one by one asking each child if he or she made the sign of the cross. When he got to Jewell, she answered, “yes.” But then immediately began crying because she knew she did not. Years later when she was baptized, that incident was still in her memory.

One of the benefits of our children having a part-time job is because they benefit from different styles of leadership. Even grandparents provide different rules in their home, different styles of interactions, etc. That’s all good and helpful for the children. They grow, learn to adapt, and mature because they see they have to adapt to different authorities.

The same is true with teachers, coaches, principals, etc. in school. We don’t need to automatically assume our children are “in the right,” if they have conflict at school. But even if they are in the right, there is a proper and an improper way for a child to speak back to authority. That’s where the wisdom of Mom and Dad should step in and help train the child to handle such conflicts in a way that honors truth and Jesus Christ and preserves the relationship between the authority and the child.

A different style of leadership can also bring out some aspect of your child’s personality that might not be positive. In that case, you as the parent have the opportunity to examine that specific behavior, discuss it in light of God’s word, and help your child learn how to control himself or herself in those situations. In that way, we are helping our children to grow and mature as they ought.

Paul Holland