Tag Archives: good marriage

Communication in marriage

“Comfortable”

Jake drove over to the next county to buy a new bull for the farm. It cost more than expected, and he was left with only one dollar. This was a problem since he needed to let his wife know that he’d bought the bull so she could come get it with the truck–and telegrams cost a dollar a word. He thought for a while and said, “Go ahead and just make it this one word: comfortable.” “How’s that going to get your point across?” asked the clerk. “Don’t worry,” said Jake. “Sue’s not the greatest reader. She’ll say it real slow” (via THE FURROW, March 2010, p. 28).

How is your communication in marriage? Do you know your mate well enough to know how best to give and receive messages? Sometimes we get so comfortable that we begin to make assumptions about what our spouse knows and understands. How can we dwell together in knowledge without making the investment in one another, an investment that includes time, talking, and attention (cf. 1 Pet. 3:7)? Such biblical mandates as “love” (Eph. 5:25; Ti. 2:4) and “submission” (Eph. 5:22-24) cannot be properly obeyed without knowing one another and communicating.

We should be comfortable with each other, at ease and not on pins and needles in a marriage. How miserable that must be! Yet, when comfortable means presumption and assumption we may be in more trouble than a man with a bull and no way to get him home! Let’s become comfortable with communicating.

Neal Pollard

How to have a good marriage

You’ve probably heard the story about the young man who wouldn’t marry unless the girl he picked to marry had the approval of his mother. This young man would bring home girl after girl to meet his mother, only to have his mother disapprove. After several years of trying, this young man finally found a girl his mother just absolutely adored! In fact, she was just like his mother. Now the only problem is, his father doesn’t like her.

In a time when marriage is being assaulted on so many fronts (e.g. co-habitation, homosexual marriage, divorce, adultery, etc.) what is needed more than anything is for men and woman to return to the time tested and proven pattern that God gave us for marriage. While volume after volume can be written, giving instructions as to how to have a happy marriage, God had a way to sum it up in a few short principles.

· Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (Matthew 7:12). · Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and as you love your own body (Ephesians 5:25,28). · Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:23). · It is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35).

Observing just these four principles alone would eliminate most of the marital problems that people face today. Friends, the key to a better marriage is a better relationship with God.

Steve Higginbotham

Marriage is a commitment

SHE LOOKED HIM right in the eyes and said, “I want a divorce, the romance is gone out of our marriage…

The terms “romance” and “love” are so nebulous to the average person, the court dockets are loaded with divorce evil. Divorce is seldom considered in some Asian cultures. A young man in Hong Kong told some preachers that he did not see his bride until he met her at the altar. Their parents had contracted the marriage when they were children. When asked, what about “falling in love” and “romance” he said, “That is your problem in America. Americans look upon marriage as a romance–we look upon it as a commitment.”

Our generation has been fed a steady diet of romance. In the movies and on TV we are told that a happy marriage is predicated on falling in love. When couples wake up some morning and find marriage has commitments and responsibilities they are disgusted and disillusioned. They find out that marriage is made up of carrying out the garbage, changing diapers, trying to make house payments, and dealing with inlaws and outlaws.

Marriage is a commitment. Falling in love and romance are great if they are understood and practiced in the right context. Movies and TV are a mighty poor place to learn to about life-long marriage. Ward Hargland

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:25-33

–Mike Benson