Several years ago, I asked the Winklers to pass along advice for married couples on how to have a successful, happy marriage.  They were very kind to comply and I have the material, in brother Winkler’s easily distinguishable handwriting, in my files.  Their suggestions were broken into two categories, the first being positive things couples can do for their marriages and the latter being habits, actions and attitudes that hurt a marriage.  Here are the answers from a couple who seemed as happily married as any two people I have known (Wendell Winkler passed away in 2005).

Positive things:

1) Put your companion first.
2) Build the confidence of each other, never making the other feel inferior.
3) Maintain a beautiful togetherness [laugh, cry, plan vacations, and work together]. Walk through life together.  Do not ride off in opposite directions [in interests, finance, recreation, etc.].
4) Adjust to your companion’s interests [if he fishes, she learns to fish; if she loves to shop, he learns to shop].
5) Be united in your goals and aspirations [for your children, for your retirement].
6) Cooperate with each other [in disciplining your children, etc.].
7) Make your companion a partner in all things.
8) Be open, free and uninhibited in your communication.
9) Close each day on a positive note.
10) Practice 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Things To Avoid:

1) Excessive debt.
2) “Me” and “I” syndrome instead of “we.”
3) Suspicion and distrust.
4) Failure to understand what is involved in “headship” and “submission.”
5) Misarranged priorities.
6) Failure to be commendatory.
7) Failure to notice and apply the little things
8) Refusal to eliminate annoyances
9) Failure to keep romance in the marriage [never become too old to hold hands].

This material was written down by brother Winkler on February 14, 2004.

Neal Pollard