SUPPOSE A GROCER takes inventory of his store…

Buried in the bottom of his meat section he finds five packages of overripe hamburger. They have somehow sat there for two weeks, turning green.

What should the grocer do with this rotting meat? No one could argue the answer. He should get rid of it, immediately! Furthermore, he should make certain that he never again neglects his meat section. He may have a beautiful store stocked with gorgeous produce, but rotten meat will spoil his business. Any customer who spots that greening goop will want to walk out of the store and never return.

It’s the same with talk. Less than one percent of a person’s word inventory can ruin the effect of all the rest. I’ve known people whose words could charm a snake out of its hole, people who are gracious in ninety-nine percent of what they say. But there is a toxic streak in their words that spoils the rest.

…Almost everybody can recall words that stung, words that crushed the spirit, words that left them feeling hopeless and desolate for days. How many people remember being told as children that they were stupid? How many people remember being told as adults that they were overweight? That it is their fault their children have problems?

It’s amazing how often people remember having such words said to them, and yet how seldom people remember saying such words to others. We usually don’t mean to hurt people. The words just pop out without our planning. We forget them. But those who hear them don’t.

Sometimes words have to hurt. When you confront real problems, you must face painful realities. That’s far different, however, from toxic talk. Toxic talk doesn’t lead to dialogue–it stops it. Toxic talk is usually spoken in haste or in anger. The poison lingers on long after the emotions are gone.

The first task is to identify the toxic words in your speech and get rid of them. Tim Stafford, “Toxic Talk: Harsh Words and Lies,” That’s Not What I Meant!, 40-41

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

Mike Benson