STEPHEN COVEY TELLS of an experience he had one Sunday morning while riding a subway in New York…

People were sitting quietly–some reading their newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed.  It was a calm, peaceful scene.  Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car.  Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car.  The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation.  The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers.  It was very disturbing.  And yet, the man sitting next to me did NOTHING.

It was difficult not to feel irritated.  I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all.  It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too.  So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people.  I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right.  I guess I should do something about it.  We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago.  I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”

Suddenly, I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently.  My irritation vanished.  I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain.  Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely…  Everything changed in an instant.

THOUGHT:  Has this ever happened to you?  It’s easy to make a snap judgment without knowing all of the facts.  You can’t always tell what’s going on inside a person or know why of what they’re doing unless you ask.  Listen with your eyes as well as your ears and refrain from thinking the worst.  H. Norman Wright, “Love Gives the Benefit of the Doubt,” Before You Say “I Do” Devotional, 19-20

“He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.”  Proverbs 18.13

“At the name of Jesus every knee should bow…” Philippians 2.10

Mike Benson