For many years, “Safe Sex” has been a term synonymous with an education program targeting youth and purporting to teach them about contraception, avoiding disease and violence, and similar concepts. The assumption is that teenagers and late preteens are unable to exert self-control and will inevitably fall prey to their desire to commit sexual immorality. The term itself seems so benign and is misleading to young people.
In his book Moral Choices: an Introduction to Ethics, Scott B. Rae includes a very profound statement made by writer Kari Jenson Gold. She says,
Consider the notion of ‘safe sex.’ Surely, the two
words are ludicrously contradictory. Sex can be
many things: dark, mysterious, passionate, wild,
gentle, even reassuring, but it is not safe. If it is,
it is not very likely to be sexy. How to abandon
oneself to another, how to give your body into
someone else’s care and control, and remain safe?
Sex is dangerous. It’s supposed to be (211).
The lie in this misnamed term and slogan, whether an intentional or unintentional lie, has scarred and damaged an infinite number of people since time began. When people change any of God’s rules and make their own, there will be devastation and destruction. That is certainly true of God’s plan for sexuality.
Most in this world are more concerned about disease than doctrine and feelings over faith. But, the Bible makes clear what, spiritually, safe sex is. It is sexual relations between a man and woman in a marriage recognized, ordained, and approved by God (cf. Matt. 19:1-9; 5:27-32). When it comes to our souls, sex is not safe between the unmarried, between those of the same sex, or between a married person and one not his or her marriage partner.
That which is safe is only that which is within the bounds of God’s will. It does not matter if society gives a pass to those who are “in love” or who “intend” to some day marry. It does not matter if the culture gives the nod to those whose marriage is deemed “loveless,” “boring,” or “strained.” On any subject, the only safe ground is that which is built upon the foundation of Christ (cf. Matt. 7:24-27). The world’s view of sexuality is built upon the shifting sand. Let us be safe in the arms of Christ, and we will be safe in every relationship.
Neal Pollard