Recently while walking, a car passed by with huge pink lettering across the front windshield that read the phrase; SPOILED ROTTEN. Hanging from the mirror was another sign that informed me that a handicapped person was driving the car. As I walked these words kept my mind occupied for the remaining several miles.
Have you ever thought what exactly it is to be spoiled rotten? No doubt the origin of this phrase came from a farming community who knew all too well the hazards of produce becoming rotten. I would venture to say that when something that is designed by God to give life and strength to those that would consume it rottenness would be most undesirable. Only a starving person would partake of rotten fruit! Let’s however, consider this idea in terms of the human heart and God’s design for His people.
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language sheds further light on what it is for something to be spoiled and offers up some vivid reassurances that this would be a most unfortunate condition to find oneself in. Reflect with me on these definitions: “ SPOIL – to impair the value or quality of, to damage irreparably, ruin, to impair the completeness perfection, or unity of so as to flaw grievously, to do harm to the character, nature, or attitude by over-solicitude, over-indulgence or excessive praise, to cause one to become unfit for use.” Hence this process weakens and destroys in the human heart God’s plan and purpose and easily connects us to the idea of being handicapped, not in the physical sense but in the Spiritual.
How then is this achieved in human relationships? The Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms describes what it is to spoil someone to the point of rottenness. The method is actually fairly simple and is common in our world today. To spoil someone is to do everything possible to satisfy another’s desires, and to do whatever someone wants you to do or give them anything they want. Have you ever witnessed this in real life today? Having taught school for over 30 years I sure have. And I must confess, I too fell into the tendency of our culture to act towards my children in such a way that would pacify them and selfishly occupy them so that I could do what I wanted to do which certainly had a spoiling affect. So here are some thoughts if you are struggling with God’s teaching that is in complete opposition to such a strategy in human relationships and lets narrow our thoughts to the parenting process.
The Scripture clearly teaches that a parent who overindulges a child and refuses to train and discipline them so as to produce the internal fruit of goodness God has planned actually hates their child. “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” Proverbs 13:24 Whining, temper tantrums, etc. are all a product of the human heart wanting what it wants NOW! If you can image yourself standing before the throne of an Almighty God and stomping your foot demanding your desire be met immediately than you can wrap your mind around how incredibly offensive such behavior is in the sight of God.
Modern psychologists lament that if a child is disciplined and denied what is desired somehow the inner person will be damaged and frustrated in a negative way. Quite the opposite is true. Scripture states; “Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction.” Proverbs 19:18. Peaceful, self-controlled, and loving people have learned that life is not about “them” but about God and doing things that please Him. In so doing, they will be blessed more than anything they could have received by demanding their way.
One final consideration, to avoid creating a relationship style that will bring about the spoiling of another’s heart, let’s consider what the Scripture says about the condition of the heart, even a child’s, that needs to be managed, pruned, fertilized by the truth, nurtured and loved God’s way. “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15.
Question, do you want to support God’s plan in relationships, especially with our children or do you want to handicap them? Being spoiled is a terrible bondage and brings an endless life of dissatisfaction. So when you see a banner proudly displaying the desire to be spoiled or if you are tempted to spoil your loved ones, perhaps you can think of the true meaning behind this behavior, pause and remember this; “There is a way that SEEMS right to a man, But its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 14:12.
Submitted by Laura Dayton