It is not uncommon to find those among our friends that struggle with wayward children. In fact, you may be dealing with that in your own family.

There are some children that just determine that they aren’t going to live by the values they learned when they were younger. They want to go their own way doing what they want no matter what the consequences.

We may think we are the only ones going through such difficulties, but it is probably more common than you realize. It was most certainly true in the pages of God’s word.

It began with the story of Cain and Abel. These young men had the same information, the same instructions, and the same abilities. Both obeyed the command to offer sacrifices, but they offered very different things. Cain offered the fruit of the ground, and Abel offered the firstlings of his flock. According to Genesis 4:4, God respected Abel’s sacrifice; but He did not respect Cain’s. The result was a sad and disappointed Cain with revenge on his brother as the outcome.

Nadab and Abihu, sons of Aaron, offered strange fire before the Lord. They knew where they were to get the fire for the offerings, but they chose to do what they wanted to do. The result for these young priests was death. The Lord sent out fire and devoured them, according to Leviticus 10:1-2.

Remember Eli? Eli was the priest with whom Samuel lived as a child. He was a high priest, one that served God. I Samuel 2:12 identifies his sons, Hophni and Phinehas, as sons of Belial. The scripture says, “They knew not the Lord.” They were so bad that they actually carried on illicit affairs with women at the door of the tabernacle (I Samuel 2:22).

Eli spoke to his sons about the evil things people were saying about them, but they would not listen. Finally, the house of Eli was rejected by God; and God destroyed them.

Eli seems to have been a humble man, a good man, but weak in character. He certainly didn’t have much influence over his children.

Samuel had a similar problem with his sons, Joel and Abiah. He made them judges in Beersheba, but they did not follow God. They loved money, and they took bribes (I Samuel 8:3). The fact that they were not obedient to Samuel and to God, the elders of Israel asked Samuel to give them a king to rule over them. That was not the only reason they wanted a king, but it was one of the reasons for their request.

Absalom was the third son of David. He was handsome and personable, but he was rebellious. After killing his half-brother, Amnon, David sent Absalom into exile. Later, he tried to seize the throne that was intended for Solomon (II Samuel 13:1-19:8). He came to a tragic end and left his father broken hearted.

If we went through the list of the kings of Israel and Judah, we would find time after time that the sons became kings and followed in the same path as their wicked fathers. The fathers were evil, and the sons were also evil. We see few examples of the fathers being evil and the sons being obedient to God.

There is an interesting passage in Ephesians 6:1. It says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

Parents quote this passage to their children all the time, but I wonder if they ever explain what it means. Children owe their parents honor and respect, even if they don’t deserve it. They owe them honor and respect because they are their parents. They do not have to respect their wishes if the parents tell them to do things that are contrary to God’s will.

This command is repeated by Paul from God’s instructions to Moses in Exodus 20:12, “Honor thy father and thy mother; that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” So when Cain, Nadab, Abihu, Hophni, Phinehas, and Absalom disobeyed the fathers, they disobeyed God. When our children disobey us as parents, they are disobeying God.

What do we do when our children stray from God? We can’t change their hearts by just wishing they would change. We can’t change their actions by commanding that they change. What can we do?

First, we need to start from day one, teaching them and training them in the ways of the Lord. We need to do as God instructed the Israelites to do with His commandments, “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Second, we need to show by our actions that God is first in our lives. In that same chapter of Ephesians, Paul tells us to put on the armor of God to withstand the “wiles of the devil” (verse 6). The devil is constantly seeking whom he may devour.

Third, we need to pray. Verse 18 says, “Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all Saints.” That would certainly include our precious children.

Even with teaching, presenting a good example, and praying, there is no guarantee they will remain faithful to God. Everyone has free will to obey God or give in to the devil.

May God bless each of us as we strive to serve Him.

Sandra Oliver