Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple (Rom. 16:17-18).
“A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet” (Prov. 29:5).
School children all over the world have read Aesop’s Fable, “The Fox and the Crow.” Everyone who has read it can easily see that the crow is very foolish to believe the flattering words of the fox, who had only one thing in mind—to take the cheese from the crow’s mouth.
One preacher who was hired as a personal evangelist for a large congregation was often heard to say, “The world sits at the feet of the man who knows how to praise. Praise is cheap. In fact it costs you nothing, so use it lavishly.” With those very words, he began every session of his training classes for personal evangelism. In order to draw men and women into the church, he was literally teaching unlearned members to deceive the hearts of the simple by sweet words and fair speeches at every turn.
Another preacher was often known to flatter members to turn them away from a particular church leader whom he disliked. The division in the congregation may have originated over whether to have elders or whether existing elders were qualified. Men such as this do not usually deal in doctrine, nor do they deal fairly about personal differences. By flattery, the man slowly gathered a following to divide the group from the man he wished to destroy. “These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men’s persons in admiration because of advantage” (Jude 16). We must understand that men generally flatter others to gather a following. They want to use people to support their own agenda!
Intellectually we can see the fallacy of believing praise (flattery), but emotionally we are often tempted to accept or even embrace it. Someone may say, “My, how young you look!” Or they may say, “You are so smart; how did you think of that?” Parents of ordinary children like to hear how skillful or intelligent their children are. A plain young girl may believe the boy who is trying to woo her, when he tells her how beautiful she is and how much he loves her. Then after he has gratified himself, he leaves her to bear the shame of unwed motherhood alone.
Roget’s Thesaurus gives a series of phrases related to the word flattery: lay the flattering unction to one’s soul, gild the pill or make things pleasant.
Denis Diderot is quoted as saying, “We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.”
The Psalmist David prayed, “Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men. They speak vanity every one with his neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak. The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things.” (Psa. 12:1-3). Are we ungodly? Are we faithful? Do we speak flattering words for advantage or do we speak truth?
From the beginning, we should be teaching our children what God hates, and we should ingrain into their minds that flattery is one of those things. In the book of Proverbs, Solomon has given us a principle to work by. “He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue” (Prov. 28:23). Why is this so? We know that any person wanting to seek the Lord and His ways, wants to see himself as he is so he can improve and grow (James 1:23-25).
Never fear, there is always another facet to any problem, and flattery is no different. What is more odious than self-flattery (Psa. 36:1-2)? Webster’s Dictionary defines it as: praise and exaggeration of one’s own achievements coupled with a denial or glossing over of one’s faults or failings; self-congratulation. Those who flatter themselves are surely not telling the truth, and God hates liars (Rev. 21:8).
Let us all do what we can to be faithful and honest with ourselves and others with whom we come in contact. Remember we have committed ourselves to be God’s people, and He should not be shamed by our words or our behavior.
QUESTIONS:
- About whom is David speaking in Psalms 12:2-4?
- How are men and women deliberately causing divisions in the church today (Rom. 16:17-18)?
- What were Absalom’s words to the people and what did he hope to accomplish (2 Sam. 15:2-6)?
- What flattery did the false prophets use in 1 Kings 22:13? Who were they really serving?
- Read Daniel 6:3-8 and explain what Darius’ courtiers hoped to accomplish. How did they go about to do this?
- Tell how the Herodians planned to set a trap for Jesus so that they might “catch him in his words” (Luke 20:20-26).
- Tertullus flatters Felix to gain his favor. What was his motive in using the fair words(Acts 24:2-9)?
- What does the Lord direct us to do concerning the flatterer’s work (Pro. 20:19)?
- Why did the apostle Paul never use flattery to get his way with the people (1 Thess. 2:5)?
- What is actually happening when “all men speak well of you” (Luke 6:26)?
- “Lead me, O Lord, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face. 9 For there is no _____________ in their mouth; their inward part is very ______________; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue” (Psa. 5:8-9)
- How does the evil woman trap the fool (Prov. 5:3; 6:24; 7:5; 7:21)?
- According to Proverbs 19:6, what does a man usually tell people when he gives gifts to make friends? Is this genuine friendship?
- Generally, what would be the reason for giving a gift to someone who is rich and does not need the gift (Pro. 22:16).
- Under ordinary circumstances, why would anyone tell a wicked man that he was righteous (Pro. 24:24)?
- Does the flatterer really love the ones he flatters (Pro. 26:28)?
- Why is what a man praises like purifying silver and gold (Pro. 27:21).
- How does the vile person obtain the kingdom in Daniel 11:21?
-Beth Johnson