SETTLING DIFFERENCES

Every day brings new challenges.  Today was no different.  My friend unknowingly had one who believed my friend accused him of being dishonest in a business transaction.  So instead of going to my friend and settling the matter in a Biblical and mature way, he told others instead of my friend.

I went over to check on my friend and he told the story of what happened.  I told him, call the man now and settle the matter.  Don’t brood about it or lose sleep about it.  Be the bigger person and go to this man and tell him so the matter doesn’t get blown out of proportion and hard feelings and a business/friend relationship is hurt.

This happens in so many instances.  Many times in dealing with people, whether friends, relatives or co-workers, there will be disagreements or misunderstandings.  When these things happen.  Work out the disagreements and misunderstandings immediately.  Don’t let a small matter become a bigger problem than it is.

This is how huge feuds and arguments begin.  We won’t go to the person with whom we have the disagreement.   Instead, we will fume and fuss and then tell others and nothing is settled.  The only way to settle a matter rightly is to go to the person with whom you have the disagreement.  You may find out you had no disagreement at all, and all was just a misunderstanding.

In the course of all human interaction differences in the way we view things, business transactions, personal differences are bound to happen.  It’s not worth losing sleep and nursing grudges when matters can normally be settled in a few minutes or less, at least for reasonable people.

Many matters which balloon out of control will sometimes wind up in a court of law paying lawyers thousands of dollars when the matter could be settled quickly between friends, co-workers and business relationships.  May we do as our Lord gave us counsel.

“Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone:  if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained by brother.  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church:  but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”    Matthew 15:15-17

My friend did as I suggested and the matter is now resolved.  It was nothing more than a complete misunderstanding.  The man misread my friend’s tone of voice/statement and the matter is over.

“Ten percent of conflict is due to difference in opinion and ninety percent is due to wrong tone of voice.”       ~ Mariz

“If circumstances suggest you mention to another his faults, put yourself in his place before you start.  Consider your own imperfections.

Remember – the offender’s heart is fragile, handle it with care

Be not a hindrance but a help.  Do it not for vengeance, but for virtue.  Hasten to heal, don’t rush to retort.  Be firm but fair, pointed but patient, censorious but considerate.  Be gentle.  Be kind.

And if your message should be rejected, at least your manners will have to be admired.  And the assurance that you have done right, in the right way, will give you a softer pillow for sweeter sleep.”                ~ Leroy Brownlow

“But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits without partiality, and without hypocrisy.      (James 3:17)

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you live peaceably with all men.”      (Romans 12:18)

 Eileen Light