If Bermuda grass is the horticultural bane of our existence as Southern gardeners, the rabbits are the counterpart in the animal world. Many of us have heaved a sigh of relief after watching a family of bunnies playing in the vegetable garden and then finding out that they did NOT eat that ripe tomato or squash that would have been ready to pick tomorrow.
Many are the times when we have had to replant a row of vegetables after the first row had been mowed down by these voracious fuzzy monsters. We have come to expect it.
A prominent political pundit recently made a detour from his usual insightful political commentary to offer women some marital advice. Suffice to say it was not well received by either men nor women.
“It wouldn’t hurt for a wife to tell her husband, ‘I know it’s your nature to want a variety of women. Thank you for your fidelity.”
There is so much wrong in this thinking. First, a caveat. We should always be thankful for one another as husbands and wives, or any relationship for that matter. (Romans 1:8, 1 Corinthians 1:4, Colossians 1:3, 2 Thessalonians 1:2, 2 Thessalonians 1:3.)
This gentleman went above and beyond thanks and respect, though. Beyond….in a bad way. First, he assumes that all husbands constantly desire to stray from their marriage vows, but in reality this is the exception. The inspired words penned in the Bible paint a different picture.
“I have made a covenant with mine eyes: why then should I think upon a maid?” (Job 31:1, KJV).
“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding; he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul” (Proverbs 6:32).
Secondly, one has to wonder what kind of an idea that puts in the mind of a man who is prone to infidelity. If he gets a blue ribbon for keeping his promise made at his wedding, does he get the red, second-place ribbon if he only cheats a few times?
“Marriage is honorable in all, and the marriage bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4).
Third, this is demeaning to women. Do we also have to thank our men for not beating us, or murdering us? They could, you know. We are the weaker vessel. This demeanor of bowing and scraping and expressing thanks for avoiding a sin described as “against his own body” is lowering women to the level of property, a concept not found in the Bible. This sin is so egregious that God outlines it as the only condition for remarriage after divorce (Matthew 19:9).
Fourth, this idea is demeaning to men. We are not simply highly evolved apes, and should not behave as such. Man (“anthropos” or mankind) was created in the image of God. Marriage was instituted in the first week of creation. God expects better!
Having looked at all this, we can still agree that appreciation goes a long way. We must never become so complacent in good marriages that we don’t once in a while…maybe even often… tell one another how much we appreciate the godly, decent, and upright nature and actions of our spouses.
This of course includes marital faithfulness, but does not single it out. I have often turned to my husband after seeing a troubled marriage and said, “I’m so glad God gave us each other.”
If you cannot in honesty manage a blanket compliment like that, be specific. “Thank you for not eating my tomatoes.”