How often do we as mothers blame ourselves for the mistakes of our children? There may be times when we are to blame, but Christian mothers are focused on providing good biblical counsel for their children.

Everyone has free will; no matter how much we teach our children, some are just going to go against their teaching. When that happens, we look to ourselves and ask, “How did I fail? What could I have done differently?”

The same thing happens in teaching the gospel. A preacher can present a lesson with numerous passages, and the unsaved will still sit in the pew and make no effort to repent. We conduct Bible studies with individuals; we show book, chapter, and verse for the plan of salvation, and the student still rejects the truth. We ask, “What could I have done differently? How did he/she not understand what I was trying to say? I should have done more.”

Our biggest problem is that we get stuck in the problem. We become focused on ourselves and take the blame for something we can’t help.

I have been reading a book written by Teresa Hampton called “Leading Ladies.”  She addresses this very point with two perfect examples from Scripture. The first is found in First Samuel 8.The people of Israel wanted a king. They complained that they wanted to be like the nations around them. Teresa says “they wanted a strong, visual presence as they lived among other nations.” What a silly, rebellious people they were. They had a king, God. They had a direct line of communication with Him through the prophets. Sadly, they wanted a fallible human being to be over them; no matter what warning Samuel gave them, they insisted on a king.

When God told Samuel that he was to appoint Saul as their king, Samuel was devastated. He took the responsibility on himself.  Samuel felt rejected, but it was God the people had rejected. God had to help Samuel redirect his mission. He still had work to do, and he could not focus on the mistake Israel was making.

You would think Samuel would learn from this error, but he didn’t. Later, when God rejected Saul as king, Samuel cried all night. Finally, God had to tell him to let go of his grief. He gave him instructions to go anoint a new king for Israel. Once again, there was work to be done.

The second example is Elijah. The prophet was well known but without favor with Ahab and Jezebel. He had just proven the idol, Baal, to be a fake god; and he killed the 450 prophets who served Baal. When Jezebel found out what Elijah had done, she threatened his life; and Elijah ran away. In the mountains, God brought him to a realization that the evil that existed in Israel was not his fault. It resulted from sin among God’s people. Elijah was so caught up in himself that he believed he was the only one still faithful to God, but God informed him that there were 7,000 that had not bowed to Baal.

God did the same thing with Elijah that He did with Samuel. He told him to get his focus off himself and concentrate on the work yet to be done.

Many of us will allow ourselves to retreat into a state of pity or self-blame for the difficulties that plague our lives. We allow those things to pull us away from serving God. We need to learn to rely on the Lord even more during times of trouble. We need to not get stuck in the problem, but rely on God to put us back to work.

Sandra Oliver