Have you ever been deserted by a friend or been disappointed by someone you thought was your friend? It is a sad thing to think you have someone on whom you can depend only to discover they have betrayed you or deserted you.

I feel certain that Paul must have felt a great deal of sadness when Demas forsook him and went to Thessalonica. Paul was left to face his accusers alone.

Demas had been a traveling companion of Paul (Acts 17:10). It appears he was with him until Paul was put in prison. He was commended in Colossians 4:14 as one in whom Paul had confidence. Then, things changed. Paul was arrested; and he says of Demas, “For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica…” It would appear that Demas was more concerned about living than about standing by his friend’s side. He was simply unwilling to risk his own life by staying.

Others have forsaken a friend. Job’s friends forsook him in Job 19:13-17. Jesus’ disciples left Him to face a howling mob and the wrath of a kangaroo court (Matthew 26:56).

Oliver Goldsmith, the poet, wrote about this kind of friendship. He said,

“And what is friendship but a name,

A charm that lulls to sleep;

A shade that follows wealth or fame.

But leaves the wretch to weep?”

Not all friendship is this type of disappointing relationship. Jonathan and David offer us a beautiful example of the kind of friendship we would all be blessed to have. Their friendship was founded in love and respect for one another and for God.

In First Samuel 18, Jonathan made a covenant with David. He said he loved David as his own soul. They were forever true and faithful to each other. There was mutual respect and no jealousy. Jonathan was a friend even when his own father tried to kill David.

Jonathan realized David would be the Lord’s anointed. Though he would have, under ordinary circumstances, been the next king, he knew God had other plans. He even gave David his robe, probably a royal robe worn by the honored son of a king. First Samuel 19:1 says he delighted in his friend. In chapter 20, he told David that he would do whatever he asked him to do; and 23:16 says that David was strengthened by Jonathan.

Jonathan gave far more than he received, and he was loyal to the end. Their friendship was marked by Jonathan’s service, unwavering support, and faith in God and His plan for Israel.

I recently read an article about a woman who, because of family circumstances, had to give up a job she loved, move to a new city, and start a new life. After some time had passed, she told her husband that she thought she should be receiving invitations to parties, dinners, and church activities. She was dismayed that she didn’t seem to be making friends. Her husband listened to her complaints and then responded with this statement. “You need to learn to be a friend like Jonathan.” The woman was shocked that he had placed the cause of her unhappiness on her shoulders.

To have friends, one must be a friend. John says,  “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  This was the kind of friend Jonathan was to David. It is also the kind of friend our Lord was when He gave His life for mankind.

What kind of friend are we? Do we love unconditionally? Do we sacrifice for one another? Most of all, is our friendship based on our love for God and doing His will?

Sandra Oliver