I think women are “fixers.” We want to have things like we want them, and we don’t like problems standing in our way. We can become anxious, even aggravated when problems arise, and we can’t fix them right away.

I remember some times when my children were younger, and I would find out about something they had done. I wanted to get it fixed immediately.

We are that way about friendships as well. When someone hurts us or makes us angry, we often want to get it straightened out right then. Some of us just can’t stand to know that someone is angry or hurt at us. We want to “fix” it.

Most of the time, I think it is better if we learn all we can about the situation, analyze it, look at it from different viewpoints, and decide on what action should be taken. We need to think about what the results will be, depending on what action we take. Sometimes moving too quickly can result in more problems.

Nehemiah is a great example of a man with a problem and the ability to think things through, look at his options, and make some decisions. His process is most certainly an example we can follow.

When Nehemiah learned the condition of the city of Jerusalem, he did four things. First, he acknowledged who God is. In verse five of chapter 1, he declared God as great, terrible, one that keeps His covenants, and has mercy for those that love Him and do what He says.

Second, he acknowledged his own sin. In verse 6, he declared himself a servant, acknowledged that God’s people had sinned and that he and his “father’s house” had sinned.

Third, he repeated the promise that God had made to Moses. In verse eight, he acknowledged that the scattering of God’s people had come about because they disobeyed God’s commands.

Fourth, he made known his desires. In verse 11, he begged God to hear him and to grant him mercy.

Before Nehemiah petitioned God, he prepared himself for dealing with the problem. He wept, mourned, fasted, and prayed. He didn’t approach God until he had dealt with his feelings and had shown his humbleness before God.

Nehemiah then petitioned the king to allow him to return to Jerusalem and do what he could to restore the wall of the city. Everything depended on the attitude of King Artaxerxes toward Nehemiah and his request. It was not a simple request.

We know that the king did allow Nehemiah to go to Jerusalem, even giving him letters for safe passage and for help in obtaining supplies. God’s hand was surely in all of this, but it was Nehemiah’s attitude that set the stage for a solution.

When we are dealing with misunderstandings or issues that need “fixing,” we would do well to follow Nehemiah’s example. The situation may or may not require weeping and mourning, but it most assuredly requires prayer. Fasting is not something most people involve themselves in, but there is certainly nothing wrong with doing without a meal or two (or even more) if the situation warrants it.

In our haste to solve problems, we often forget to address the Father and acknowledge His greatness and His mercy. He likes to know that we know He is greater than the problem.

Before we can resolve anything, we need to confess sin in our own lives. We need to be conscious that our own sin just might be the cause of the problem. Even if it isn’t the cause, asking for forgiveness places us in a position to be more objective in dealing with the issues at hand.

It can be helpful to acknowledge the promises God has made to us. His Spirit speaks for us when we are unable to make our requests, since we don’t always know exactly what we need to pray for (Romans 8:26). He doesn’t promise to always give us what we want, but He does promise to hear us.

Lastly, we can beg God for His help in whatever our issues might be. Sometimes I think we limit God by asking without really believing He will give us that for which we ask. Even when God appears to have said no, He gives us the right to keep asking. Begging is not always demanding; it is asking in earnest. We should always, however, declare that His will be done.

I believe that if we follow Nehemiah’s example for problem solving, we might just have an easier time handling the everyday situations we face.

Sandra Oliver