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TEN VERSES FROM PROVERBS
My mother owned a beauty shop in our home, and I loved spending time with her on Saturdays “helping” her. We all know the reputation of beauty shops. One only has to watch a few episodes of “Murder, She Wrote” to get the picture. Loretta’s beauty shop is the source of all the gossip in the small northeastern town. Mother didn’t allow anyone to gossip in her beauty shop. She has, on more than one occasion, asked someone to refrain from repeating information about someone. Since many of her customers were church members, she felt it was imperative to maintain an atmosphere of wholesome conversation. So, there was no profanity and no gossip.
When I started school, my mother had some clear advice for me about my communication with others. Mother’s advice to me was, “Don’t talk too much. Don’t repeat what you hear. If you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything.” All of these are important standards for anyone, young or old, male or female. If we all followed this advice, think how different our world would be. I would like to say that I always followed Mother’s advice; but like most people, I have failed on many occasions. I can look back and see how different situations would have been had I followed her advice.
Usually when we hear lessons on communication, the speaker uses passages from the book of James. Those references are wonderful instructions for us, but Solomon also had much to say about the way we communicate. His little gems, as I call them, are sandwiched between other warnings and instructions. I think we have passed over these without giving them the emphasis they deserve. In his wisdom, he knew this was and would always be a problem for mankind. Here are ten of his “little gems.”
“Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you” (Proverbs 4:24 ESV). Solomon is advising that we are not to be dishonest or twist what we say. Perverse or devious speech is that which is unacceptable. Unfortunately, the language of today—cursing, swearing, and bad euphemisms—have become acceptable to many, but Solomon says that this type of language needs to be put away.
“There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers” (Proverbs 6:16-19). Here Solomon lays out the various forms lying takes—purposeful lying, devising wickedness, falsely accusing, and sowing discord. He says that the Lord hates these.
“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention” (Proverbs 10:18). Simply said, don’t say things to damage someone’s reputation.
“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (Proverbs 10:19). Don’t talk too much. The more we talk, the greater is the chance that we will say something we shouldn’t.
“Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered” (Proverbs 11:13). Solomon says don’t be a talebearer. Even if it is true, we should refrain from revealing secrets.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Watch what you say! There is a medieval rhyme that says, “Anger, however great, Is checked by answer sweet.” Remember how Abigail calmed David’s anger at her husband. She did it with kindness. We should not respond to anger with anger.
“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things” (Proverbs 15:28). Ponder your words. Don’t just say what you think.
“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame” (Proverbs 18:13). In other words, listen carefully. How many times are we guilty of answering, speaking up, even arguing a point before we have heard what the other person had to say? Listening is a gift. It is too bad we don’t take better advantage of it.
“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2). We should be generous with praise of others and not live with the expectation of constant praise for ourselves.
“Whoever walks in integrity will be delivered, but he who is crooked in his ways will suddenly fall” (Proverbs 28:18). We need to learn to say, “I’m sorry.” We have a real problem with that one. No one likes to admit he is wrong, but it is a huge part of repentance. We can’t be forgiven if we never repent.
There are other Proverbs that address our communication. The book of James also addresses it. If we could just use these ten verses to control our speech, would we not all be better Christians?
Sandra Oliver