In a dark urban basement in downtown Detroit, the hilarious Second City Improv Troupe was wrapping up a coveted comedy class for aspiring comedians. During this last class, the students performed with members of the Troupe for a small group of family and friends. The audience, eager for entertainment, quieted as the performers walked onto the stage. One of the professional comedians explained to the audience the first rule of improv: “You can never say NO. If someone offers a suggestion or takes the skit in an unexpected direction, you have to say YES, AND…” It kills comedy to say NO, but it moves the storyline along if you accept the other idea (the YES) and add to it (the AND).
It makes sense. NO is like hitting a brick wall. It stops momentum and opposes one person to another. A power struggle ensues. Who is in charge? Which direction wins? On the other hand, YES unifies and builds momentum. It is collaborative in nature and together people move forward. YES, AND… takes the power of collaboration and adds to it. The sum ends up being more than the parts.
In improv comedy, the result is a cohesive, hilarious story. It’s an important tool in comedy, but does the YES, AND… principle apply anywhere else in life? The concept piqued my curiosity, and I often see it now working in situations ranging from the playroom to the boardroom.
Will YES, AND… work in every situation? Of course not, but YES, AND is a powerful tool to add to your toolkit. In fact, Paul knew the power of YES, AND…
During his second missionary journey, Paul visited Athens. It was a city known for philosophical debate and the worship of many gods. The many idols made it crystal clear the city was not worshiping God as He demanded. Paul, who was known to be a formidable teacher, took a different approach in this city:
So Paul, standing in the midst of the Areopagus, said: “Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription: ‘To the unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for “‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “‘For we are indeed his offspring.’ (Acts 17:22-28)
Paul could have begun with, “NO, you’ve got this all wrong.” That would have been a true statement, but perhaps not a helpful one. Instead, he started with a YES statement, one that met the people of Athens where they were by acknowledging they were attempting to be quite religious. He continues in verse 23, “I found also…” (emphasis added). There is Paul’s AND that followed his YES statement. By commending their religious nature, and then adding information about the “unknown god” they had an altar for, Paul was able to teach the people of Athens about the true God without alienating them or butting heads right away. He gently met them where they were, built off of their intuition that there was something they were missing, and then moved forward with them into deeper truth and understanding about our amazing God!
Along the Way Application
Here are a few ideas on how to incorporate the YES, AND… strategy into our daily lives:
Scenario 1: Family
Sibling A: I want to ride bikes.
Sibling B: You always want to ride bikes. I want to play a board game.
In the perfect world, a parent might be able to say YES to both, but often, time is not in our favor. Perhaps the parent could try, YES, I want to ride bikes AND play a board game. Additionally, the parent could add a third option in: YES, I want to ride bikes, play a board game, AND get ice cream. We don’t have time for everything today, so I’ll flip a coin to see which one we do today and we’ll do the other tomorrow.
Even though the result is the same (only 1 sibling is getting their wish today), there is power in not being told NO. Nobody was shot down, no idea was rejected. It’s small in semantics, but powerful in action.
Scenario 2: Business
Two very different ideas are being contested in a business meeting.
The boss might be able to say, YES, I’m interested in exploring these two ideas AND _______ (insert 3rd idea he/she is interested in pursuing). Let’s make a plan for how we can test the practicality/profitability/feasibility of each of these options.
It might take a couple more days to come to a conclusion, but by empowering ideas, employees feel heard leading to an increase in future ideas, collaboration, and buy-in.
Scenario 3: Church
An individual may come to you with a belief you know is not found in the Bible. For example, “I was baptized as a baby, I don’t need to be baptized again.”
Insead of a quick, “NO, look at these verses”, perhaps we could get farther by starting the conversation with something like, “YES, I have heard a lot of people are only baptized as infants. Would you be willing to meet me for lunch on Tuesday and teach me more about that? AND, after maybe we could look at some of the verses that led me to my decision to get baptized later in life. I’d love to hear your opinion on those verses too.”
Note: There are other ways to say/show the YES, AND… mindset. For the sake of clarity, I used those exact words in the examples, but there are so many possible ways the YES, AND… method can be applied in everyday life. Leave a comment if you try it. We’d love to hear how your experience goes.