Recently a friend asked me to pray for him. The prayer concerned health issues about which I knew no specifics. My prayer, however, was specific. The details don’t matter. It was simple. He asked, and I prayed.

How do you feel about prayer? Do you pray? How often do you pray? When do you pray? Do you even know what to pray for when you pray?

If you feel frustrated about your prayer life, you are not alone. Many struggle with praying, not because they don’t want to. They simply don’t know how.

The disciples had the same problem. They asked Jesus to teach them to pray, and He did.

Jesus had been talking about doing things just to be seen of men. The Pharisees were especially bad about this. These were His instructions about prayer in Matthew 6.

• Don’t stand and pray to be seen of others.
• Pray in secret.
• Do not say empty phrases over and over again.

With these instructions, He then gave the disciples a sample prayer. In this prayer, Jesus addressed the Father and showed reverence to His name. He prayed for the kingdom to come, and He prayed for the Father’s will to be done in all things. He prayed for food and for forgiveness of sins. He asked for help in resisting temptation and deliverance from evil.

Many people say this prayer as though it is their own, fulfilling the needs they have. I’m afraid this is the result of not understanding what prayer is all about. Prayer is about communicating with God through Jesus Christ. It is about connecting with the Father with our needs. Even though God already knows our needs (Matthew 6:8), He wants us to ask Him. He wants to hear from us.

When Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane before His arrest, He told His disciples to pray. He said, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41 ESV).

Sadly, the disciples did not take His advice. They were tempted to deny their Lord, and they left Him to be led away to be tried and murdered. Jesus knew they would need strength, and He told them where they could find that strength.

Prayer is not all about asking. Prayer is also about being thankful. Recently one of our elders led the prayer at the beginning of our Sunday morning worship service. In that prayer, he didn’t ask for anything. He simply thanked God for all the blessing we enjoy, naming many of them. It was a prayer of thanksgiving. What a blessing that was to hear nothing but appreciation to the Father for all the good in our lives! Paul told Timothy, “For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer” (First Timothy 4:4-5).

We should daily ask our Father for forgiveness of sins. Notice, however, what Jesus’ sample prayer says. “…and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). When we ask God to forgive our sins, we need to know that He is going to forgive us the way we forgive others. Do you forgive others?  (For a study of forgiveness, read Matthew 19:21-35).

Notice that within this prayer is something that we cannot pray for—the coming of the kingdom. The kingdom Jesus was praying for is the church. The church was established on the day of Pentecost recorded in Acts 2. Though we cannot pray for the kingdom to come, we can pray for the kingdom to spread. We can pray for the church to grow and to continue to serve God.

So, how should we pray? Where? When? How often? Paul told the Colossians, “And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Colossians 1:9). If you go back a few verses, you will find Paul telling these Christians that he and others thank God for them. They thanked God for their faith, the love they have for other Christians, and that they are living so that they could go to heaven.

Paul also told the Thessalonians, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (First Thessalonians 5:16-18).

 It doesn’t matter where we pray. We can pay wherever we are as long as we don’t do it to be seen of men. It depends on the circumstances. I have a friend who likes to pray lying face down on the floor. She says she feels humbled in that position, but she doesn’t pray that way in front of others. She prays that way in secret.

Jesus knew the disciples would need to know how to pray. He knows we need to pray. When Paul gave instructions to the Ephesians about putting on the whole armor of God, he ending with this: “praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication” (Ephesians 6:18).

We need to always be in a prayerful spirit, ready to ask for God’s help, willing to be thankful for God goodness, knowing that all things must be done according to His will.

Sandra Oliver