Not long ago I was involved in a conversation with another woman regarding her buying habits.  During the course of the conversation, she relayed to me her habit of continual shopping.  She told me she was keeping secrets from her husband.  She buys all manner of clothing, purses, accessories, jewelry, and then hides the purchases in her closet, in back of other items so her husband won’t see.  The items still have the tags on them.  When she wears some of the clothing, and he mentions it being new, she tells him she has had the item for a long time, and he just forgot about it.  Deception and lies.  Time will eventually discover the truth.

“But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord:  and be sure your sin will find you out.”      Numbers 32:23

During the conversation, I asked how long she believed she could carry on this charade, and not be caught in such a web of lies, and she told me just as long as she could, and he didn’t have to know.  She justified the deception by saying she worked hard, and did not think she should be accountable for every thing she purchased.  After I thought about her statement I wondered why she would be deceptive to her husband.  She apparently had no remorse over the purchases, and stated her case rather boldly.

This is called financial infidelity, and is more common than you think.  Women are twice as likely to hide purchases than men, though one man in the survey had hidden a car from his wife.  Some couples have secret bank accounts they do not disclose to their spouses.  It surprised me to know how prevalent the problem is in America, and may well explain the number of divorces.

This should not be the behavior of anyone, much less a Christian.  A marriage must be based on a foundation of love and trust in each other, with God at the center of the marriage.  When a woman becomes involved in the deception of her husband or a vice versa, there is a much deeper problem within the marriage than they imagined.

I have not seen the woman in awhile, but have often wondered how she is faring with such a secretive life.

“For truth shines brightest thro’ the plainest dress.”      Wentworth Dillon

“Truth is strengthened by observation and time, pretences by haste and uncertainty.”     ~ Tacitus

I am unsure as to the psychology behind the continual buying, but it appears to me people who do this, are trying to satisfy that which is missing in the soul.  Regardless, there is no excuse for lying and deception of a spouse, psychology or not.

“And He said unto them,  Take heed, and beware of covetousness:  for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.”    Luke 12:15

I once heard “a woman could shovel more out the back door, than a man could bring in at the front door.”  The statement is very true.  Be it a husband or wife, one must be truthful with their spouse and discuss financial matters openly.  Having a budget for purchases is vital and staying out of stores where the temptation to over spend is not so overwhelming.

Hiding accounts, clothing and a secret life is most certain to undermine marriages and create a veil of distrust.  It may sound simple, but if you are involved in this sort of deceptive behavior.  Stop it.  No excuses are acceptable.  ….and while you’re at it.  Be up front and honest with your spouse, and begin again with a life together based upon God’s Word, truth, honesty, respect, and love.

“It is neither right nor bright to lie.  Its only hope of success is in keeping itself unknown.  It can’t stand investigation.  And dealing in a trade that can’t endure the light of day has a dark future.

Eileen Light