I got through it. I was not banished from the congregation. No church split because of the noise level. No members left. Scars from mean comments and glares vanished. My pew is silent. I am in one piece. So are my kids. You will be too.
You are exactly where you need to be. God wants you and your children in His midst with other believers on the first day of every week (Acts 20:7, 1 Corinthians 16:1-2). I used to judge my worship to God by what I got out of it, not by what I put into it. It’s not about whether you were able to comprehend each prayer, or dig deep in each communion. You being there screaming kids and all, is a commitment to the Lord showing there is no place you would rather be than in His presence with fellow believers. Your children will come to understand that fact, and you will be blessed for this. Worship is about giving to Him, not getting from Him.
There is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). I like to think of verse 8 as a glimpse of what some parents struggle with on Sunday mornings when it states, “A time for war, and a time for peace.” Wartime for me was pew training two very strong willed, independent little tornadoes. It was a battle of wills every service. I stayed consistent with letting them see how important worship was to me, so this wartime turned into a time of peace. You may feel as if you are buried deep in the trenches of pew wars now, but it won’t last forever. Your season of peace will come.
Take down the idols (Deuteronomy 5:7, Exodus 20:3-4). We mistakenly make our children gods and idols sometimes. We feel it’s ok to skirt around meltdowns by not giving God our time spent at worship. Worship interferes with morning nap time. Worship interferes with eating time. Worship interferes with my child’s mood. Worship can wait till my child is older.
Give God your resolve to place Him above the demands of your children.
How beautiful of an act of worship is it to place the demands of your own flesh and blood to the side so you can be with God? He understands moms, and He is blessing you richly for this. He receives honor even when you are locked away in the nursery with a screaming toddler.
One day the pew war will end, and you will be offering words of wisdom to the next generation of guilt-ridden moms. You will be able to laugh about your chaos. Hindsight will show how much you actually did grow from all those years locked away in the training room. You will be thankful for those times, and the relationships forged during your momentary lapses in sanity. Pass on your stories. Give wisdom and understanding (Titus 2:4). Remind those moms they are right where they need to be, screaming kids and all.
It seems strange to read this article and remember my own mother and siblings. Three brothers did not react well in services–much as you describe, but we went every time the doors were opened. Even in her last days, my mother never gave up coaxing and teaching her sons.
My own children behaved rather well by comparison to what you describe, but they were not without stresses. Our older son had central sleep apnea (a condition not diagnosed until he was an adult), and my own sleep was compromised day after day because of his lack. Looking back now I wonder we survived without more serious troubles.
Your words “Give God your resolve to place Him above the demands of your children” ring in my ears–perhaps prick my conscience too. Some children need more help than others. My reading and studying suffered during those days, but there is no doubt my son understood my love for the Lord and has followed that love in his life. Day-to-day conversations with him tuned his heart for service.