This lesson is written to give you encouragement, should your children stray from what you have taught them from God’s Word. I pray you find it helpful.
I have read many articles about rearing children, some good, and some written as though the parents should be given the Parents of the Century award. I am often tempted to write these people who write glowing reports of their process of rearing children. Most of these parents are in the very early stages and as one movie quote said. “You’re alright boy, but you don’t know nothin’ yet.” To hear some of these people talk, they have it all figured out. They have arrived, and are telling you how the process of raising children should be done.
When reading these books, you would think the family never had a problem. All are hugely successful, well adjusted, faithful people and then we compare our families and wonder what planet did these people come from, for it all seems too good to be true. And then we sit in despair wondering where did we go wrong because our children have strayed from the precepts and principles set forth in Scripture. We did all we could do, and yet some strayed from their moorings.
“Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.” ~ John Wilmott
There is no “one size fits all” regarding the rearing of children. We must remember we can take them to all of the services of the church, send them to camp to be with other Christians, involve them with other children whose parents are members, give a good example at home and train them in righteousness until they are grown, but sometimes, despite our best efforts, children will stray from the path they have been taught. Remember the word “stray.” There is a reason I use this word and at the end of this lesson you will see why.
Our children are individuals. There is no formulaic method of rearing them. Each have their own individual and unique personalities. They all have to be handled differently. Some can be given instructions and obey immediately, then there are children who are obstinate and they too must be handled in a different way. Likewise, other children who are very sensitive must be handled much differently than the former two. All are very different, and isn’t this the way we want our children to be, unique in their own personalities? God made us this way. But they are a challenge. In every respect of the word, children are a challenge.
In the account of the prodigal son, we find one son wanting his inheritance now. He wanted to go see the world. He believed he was missing out on life and tired of staying home. And so, his father granted his petition and the son left to go find himself, to have fun with his new found friends, to be free from the restraints of his father. It didn’t take long for the money to be spent, and when it was spent, his “so-called” friends left him. This young man wound up being in want and feeding swine, but he came to himself and went back to his father and admitted to his father he had sinned. Luke 15:11-32
Conversely, his brother became angry and jealous when his brother returned to his father’s house. In the place of being happy that his lost brother returned, he refused to join the celebration of the return of his brother.
In these two examples of two brothers. One left his home literally. One didn’t leave home, but in a sense he did leave. His heart was jealous of his younger brother, and when he should have been rejoicing at the return of his brother, his heart was elsewhere…..
“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
God’s Word is Truth. I used the former Words in rearing my sons. The Words are true. Though your children may may stray from the principles and precepts you taught them from God’s Word. Know this. They are responsible for their own actions when they leave home. They are individuals, and no matter where they go, what jobs they have, who they associate themselves with, or what things they involve themselves with in this life. They can never be free of those Biblical Truths you taught them. Those Truths are implanted on their hearts, and will always come back to them in those moments of temptation. It is fact. “he will not depart from it.” He can’t.
“I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home. I loved you enough to insist you buy a bike with your own money even though we could afford it. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your friend was a creep. I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to the drugstore and confess, “I stole this.” I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your bedroom, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes. I loved you enough to say, “Yes, you can go to Disney World on Mother’s Day.” I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust and tears in my eyes. I loved you enough not to make excuses for your lack of respect or your bad manners. I loved you enough to admit that I was wrong and ask for your forgiveness. I loved you enough to ignore what every mother did or said. I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your own actions at age 6, 10 or 16. I loved you enough to figure you would lie about the party being chaperoned but forgive you for it – after discovering I was right. I loved you enough to accept you for what you are, not what I wanted you to be. But most of all, I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all. ” ~ Bombeck
Eileen Light