One of the things I think about when I read about the death of Jesus is the number of people who had a part in His death. There were also those that were there and had a personal interest because of their relationship with Jesus.

When everything was over, and Jesus had been buried, I wonder how they felt. I wonder if they had regrets; and if so, how did they deal with them?

This week and next week, I’d like for us to think about some of these people: relatives, friends, rulers, soldiers, and prisoners. Let’s think about what they would have to remember when the crucifixion was over.

Peter, James, and John were with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus asked them to watch and pray. Three times Jesus went farther into the Garden and prayed. Each time He returned to find all three disciples asleep.

I wonder how these three men felt. I wonder if the words Jesus spoke to them just before His arrest resounded in their ears, “Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand” (Matthew 26:46 ESV). Don’t you know that in years to come those words of Jesus would haunt them?

Standing in the Garden, surrounded by soldiers with swords and spears, Peter reacted to the situation. He drew out his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, Malchus, cutting off his right ear.

Without hesitation Jesus rebuked Peter, telling him, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?” (John 18:11). Following the rebuke, Jesus healed the servant’s ear.

Later that same evening, a kinsman of the high priest confronted Peter and identified him as being in the Garden with Jesus. Peter denied that he was there, and he did this not once, but three times (John 18:25-27).

There is no indication that Malchus acknowledged that he had been healed of a serious wound by a Jew, the man being accused before the Sanhedrin of being a blasphemer. In his heart he had to know that the miracle of his healing was from a power greater than anything he could know.

As he continued to serve the high priest, I wonder how he would have felt having been, not only a witness to the events, but also being a participant in an illegal trial.

Peter would have had some regrets as well. Jesus had told him that he would deny Him, but Peter insisted that he would never do such a thing. What memories Peter must have had of that night!

I haven’t forgotten about Judas! He ran out during the Passover Feast the disciples celebrated with Jesus. Jesus, at that feast, identified him as the betrayer.

I wonder how he felt as he kissed the Lord on the cheek and watched as the soldiers took Him away. I don’t know exactly how he felt, but I know what he felt the next morning. “Then when Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he changed his mind and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, ‘I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.’ They said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself” (Matthew 27:3-4).

What Judas felt was a desperate attempt to change things. He went back to the counsel hoping to turn things around, but it was too late. He had been their informer, and they didn’t care anything about his feelings. They had what they wanted, and they didn’t need him anymore.

Could Judas have changed things? He couldn’t change the circumstances, but he could have changed his destiny. Instead, he killed himself. What terrible thoughts he must have had as he went to the place where he took his own life.

One person mentioned in the events of the crucifixion that is often overlooked is Barabbas. This man is called a notorious prisoner in Matthew 27:16. John tells us that he was guilty of sedition and murder.

So Pilate put both Jesus and Barabbas before the crowd and asked them which one they wanted. They demanded that Pilate release Barabbas, and he did.

Maybe Barabbas didn’t give the events of that day a second thought; but I suspect it at least crossed his mind that he escaped death, not because of his innocence or because of a not-guilty verdict, but because Pilate was a coward.

Pilate presumed himself to be guiltless because he washed his hands before the crowd and proclaimed that he was “innocent of this man’s blood; see to it yourselves” (Matthew 27:24).

I just wonder if he every regretted his actions. Would he have felt any remorse for killing an innocent man as the chief priests and Pharisees gathered before Pilate the day following the crucifixion? There is no indication that he did. All he did was order that the tomb be made secure.

I feel certain that Peter, James, and John spent many hours regretting their actions. I’m sure they would have changed things if they could; but there was no going back.

In Acts 2, we see where all of the apostles gathered to address the very people who participated in this terrible act. When Peter addressed the people, he recounted the awful things they had done to Jesus. Then he gave them hope. “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38). Verse 41 says, “those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls”.

Peter offered them hope and forgiveness of sins. What a blessing for those that cried out for the blood of Jesus, repented of their sins, and were buried in baptism.

Sandra Oliver