The phrase “Love you to death” is common in American vernacular. It is used to convey the utmost love for another – until death do us part – if you will. It has become a light-hearted idiom that is often stated with no real thought behind it and even while saying something negative afterward. One example is, “I love him to death, but he makes me so angry.” I was thinking about this expression one day and realized that spiritually, we are loving people to death! As Christians, we are letting those whom we know are lost pass us by in this life without teaching them the truth. We avoid talking with erring brethren, never reminding them of what the Word says and never pleading with them to return to God. We claim to love them, but in reality, we are letting them stay on the path to spiritual death. Why is this, and what can be done?
Sadly, the world around us has become increasingly more tolerant of sin. So much so that if you speak out against it, you are labeled “judgmental” and “intolerant.” Ironically, those who do such name-calling are being judgmental and intolerant. This has crept into the Lord’s church, and now, some have “grown-up” in the church never having heard certain truths from God’s Word because elders or preachers didn’t want to offend anyone in attendance. Many have never witnessed church discipline conducted properly when there is a member in need of being corrected. Several Christians fear losing friendships or family relationships over sin in one’s life, and thus, they maintain the status quo by never mentioning one’s sin.
Of course, who likes controversy? Maybe there are a few in the world who enjoy arguing and heated discussions with others, but for the most part, everyone avoids controversial topics if they can. We find it uncomfortable to do what Nathan did for David (2 Samuel 12:1-12). Would we go before a king to remind him of sin in his life? The prophet Nathan did because he was obeying God, and he loved David. We should have a heart that longs for souls to return to their Lord. We should be people willing to discuss uncomfortable issues regardless of our own feelings or what we think the outcome will be.
Paul addressed a difficult subject in 1 Corinthians 5. In addition to the fact that there was a fornicating brother, the congregation had done nothing about it. Reproving was in order. “In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus” (1 Corinthians 5:4-5 NKJV). Notice the purpose of discipline in verse five. Many will object to this, claiming that it will push the erring one away further. The fact is that the sinning Christian already separated himself or herself from the fold by living contrary to God’s law. If one continues in sin, God has already withdrawn fellowship from him or her (Isaiah 59:2; Hebrews 7:25-27; 1 John 1:7). Properly carrying out church discipline makes what has already occurred known to all in the congregation so that the “leaven” will be cut off and not spread (1 Corinthians 5:6-8). It is not love to ignore sin and act like nothing is wrong. An erring brother or sister is not an enemy, but we must be willing to admonish fellow Christians when necessary (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15), in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Sometimes, a Christian sins against another in a more personal rather than in a public manner. Jesus spoke of such a circumstance in Matthew 18:15-17. The process is laid out, beginning with going privately to the individual, but finally bringing the matter before the congregation if the erring child of God refuses to repent. Sadly, many times the reverse occurs as we are quick to tell others what a fellow Christian did to us. Some even publish posts on social media! May it not be brethren! May we be people following the Lord’s instructions so that we may “gain our brother” (Matthew 18:15).
You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:13-16)
Our Lord spoke the above words toward the beginning of His Sermon on the Mount, reminding His followers of their purpose. Don’t skim over this passage. We should read it again and ask ourselves, “Am I being a light to the world? Am I bringing glory to God?” The nature of light is its expulsion of darkness (Ephesians 5:13). If we are not shining light on darkness, then can we really be light? Paul, in Ephesians 5, may have had the Lord’s message in mind when he wrote, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light… And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them” (Ephesians 5:8, 11). In verse 14 of that same chapter, Paul told those Christians who are asleep to wake up! Likewise, some of us need to wake up, receive the light of Christ and shine that light on those who are in darkness.
Some exclaim, “You are judging me!” The Lord covered that subject toward the end of His sermon.
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me remove the speck from your eye”; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5)
Many quote only verse one leading people to think we can never judge another, but notice verse five. We are to point out sin in others after we have taken care of sin in our own lives. It is hypocritical to expose other’s failings while we live in sin. Christ said to judge righteously (John 7:24). We can only do this if we ourselves are living righteous lives.
Love for the church – love for souls – should motivate us to lead pure, faithful lives and to bring others to Christ (1 Peter 4:8; Jude 20-23). We must check ourselves first (2 Corinthians 13:5), and then, “Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20). Let us not be people who are “loving” others to spiritual death, but rather, let’s be people of the true love of God, “pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh” (Jude 23).