It is becoming increasingly alarming to note the number of Christian women who are showing little or no respect to God by the way they dress.  Many have decided modesty is “a personal opinion,” and no one has the right to tell them how to dress.

However, God DOES have the right to tell us how to dress!  Read this command, “in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works” (1 Timothy 2:9-10).

Although these words were penned years ago, they STILL apply today.  God does not change, and His words do not change (James 1:17).   Christians are STILL commanded to present their bodies as a living sacrifice to God (Romans 12:1).  They also are NOT to be conformed to the world (Romans 12:2).

Modesty is described even by a dictionary as “decent.”  God has given us the ability to think and reason; thus we are able to discern what is decent according to standards set by God.  The Bible gives us all we need to know in order to understand decency in appearance and in behavior.

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This excuse may be used:   “That’s the only clothing being sold today and everyone is wearing it, so it must be considered proper now.”   Do you really think that excuse will stand before God?     Look at what Jesus said in Luke 16:15, “And He said to them, You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.”    Are you willing to become an abomination to God in order to be highly esteemed by the world?

Basically, attitude controls what clothing we choose to wear and what behavior we display.  In Proverbs 27:19, we read, “As in water face reflects face, So a man’s heart reveals the man.”

Ladies and girls, even a TINY BIT of cleavage does not fit the description of modest apparel, NOR does this show respect toward God!  Any display of the thighs is also not a description of modesty. These areas are designed by God as part of the female’s sexuality.  Therefore they should remain covered, so they are not attracting the male’s attention.  These sexual areas of one’s body belong only within the boundary of marriage (Proverbs 5:19).

Married women sometimes publicly wear clothing which exposes “just a hint” of cleavage or the thighs, believing this is permissible now that they are married.  After all, no one else looks at a married woman except her own husband.  Ladies, do not be deceived;  there will be others looking!  Some will deliberately look; others who desire to live godly will not intentionally look, but accidentally see before they can get their eyes turned away.  Do you desire to share with all others what specifically belongs ONLY to your husband?  Do you desire to show DISRESPECT to God AND your husband in this manner?

Others, while not dressing immodestly themselves, call the display of flesh “cute” on others!  No, it is not “cute” in God’s sight, nor is it showing respect to God!  Those approving of immodesty are just as guilty of sin as those who are dressing immodesty (see Romans 1:32).  Yes, immodesty is a sin, and we need to realize it is sin!

Women desiring to truly please God are willing to be more careful about what is or is not “on display” with each item of clothing worn.  Remember even though an item of clothing may appear modest when first put on, as one moves about, clothes also “change positions” and do not continue to stay exactly in the same position.  A woman is not a statue that remains totally still and never moves!   Here’s a helpful hint:  stand before a mirror, full length if possible, and look at your top, bottom, sides, and all points between.  Turn, twist, bend over, raise and lower your arms, eyeing yourself from all angles.  You may realize you are displaying more than you thought!   Sit in a chair in front of the mirror, crossing and uncrossing your legs and note what is seen.  Observe carefully every item of clothing you put on.   Remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”   We can cause men, and boys also, to have feelings of lust because of immodest clothing which exposes too much flesh.  We must realize the male is affected greatly by seeing a woman’s or girl’s flesh.  This is the way God designed us; however He also gave very specific guidelines concerning the sexual behavior of both men and women.  If women or girls dress immodestly and cause lust, they are as guilty as the male in this sin.

Women may say they are not able to find modest clothing in stores.  Yes, some stores no longer sell much decent clothing.  It may take looking a bit longer, but it is possible to find  decent clothing.  Some express the idea that modest clothing is “too expensive.”  However, I have found just the opposite;  modest clothing is not as expensive as the “latest styles of immodesty.”

Older women often are deceived by the idea, “No one looks at older women, so it really doesn’t matter what we wear.  Just go for comfort.”  There is no truth to that idea.  All women, regardless of age, are noticed by others.  But more important, all are noticed by God, and all are accountable to God.

A Christian woman with the right attitude will be thankful when a Christian sister draws her aside and lovingly talks with her about an article of clothing being immodest.  A wife with the right attitude will thank her husband for wanting her to dress modestly before others.  Because of the right attitude, she realizes certain parts of her body belong only to her husband and she will not desire to expose these parts to others.  A Christian woman with the right attitude will not buy immodest clothing for herself OR for her children, and she will teach her children (both girls and boys) to dress modestly.  She will teach both by example and with words, explaining it is sin before God and disrespectful to God to dress immodestly.

If we truly desire to glorify God and show respect toward God, we will gladly dress modestly at all times, instead of trying to justify immodesty!  If we respect God, we will teach others to dress modestly also!  Dressing modestly is not just inside the church building, but it should be done everywhere we go.  By the way, men and boys are NOT exempt from dressing modestly!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?   For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Are you showing respect to God or to the world?

By Dena Ivie

Ahab was a most wicked king. He began his reign as an evil man, and he ended it the same way.

His first mistake was in marrying Jezebel, a princess of the god Baal. She brought with her, not only her beliefs, but her idols as well. Ahab immediately prepared places for her idols and led God’s people into idolatrous worship.

One of the more famous stories about Ahab is his interaction with Naboth. Naboth’s vineyard was next to the palace, and Ahab wanted it for a vegetable garden. He tried everything to get Naboth to sell it to him or trade with him. Naboth told Ahab that he could not sell or trade his land, because it was an inheritance. It was against God’s laws to do anything with it outside his own family.

Ahab went home dejected and pouting. He went to bed, turned his face to the wall, and refused to eat. What a king!

Jezebel to the rescue. She assured Ahab that she would take care of the situation. She devised a plan by sending letters to the nobles and the priests to declare a fast and bring Naboth into court. They were to bring in false witnesses and accuse him of blasphemy against God and the king. Such behavior was punishable by stoning. The letters went out with the king’s seal, which meant it was a declaration that could not be ignored.

Of course, the men did as was commanded. Then they declared him guilty as charged and stoned him to death. Later we read that they also stoned his family.

What is interesting about this story is the way Jezebel used God’s law to serve her own purpose. She obviously knew the laws under which God’s people were supposed to live because of the way she brought about Naboth’s demise. She structured a formal charge of blasphemy against Naboth. She knew there needed to be two witnesses, and she knew that stoning the guilty to death was the punishment for a guilty plea. She also knew that Naboth’s relatives would inherit the land, so she had them killed as well (Second Kings 9:16). Without family to inherit, Ahab took possession of the land.

Our lives are filled with decisions we need to make as to whether something is right or wrong. The old saying, “You can prove anything by the Bible” is true. If you want to justify your behavior, just look long enough, and you will find a way to justify it.

My husband tells the story of a preacher who did just that. The man was on the radio, and in his sermon he made the following statement. “The Bible says that baptism does not save us. It says and I quote, “Baptism doth also save us not.” The man failed to give the Scripture reference, but it is found in First Peter 3:21. It  says, “The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ…”

In this passage, Peter had been comparing Noah’s being saved in the flood with our being saved by baptism. Noah’s salvation required water and his obedience to God’s commands. The same is true with us. It takes baptism, but it also takes our obedience to His commands.

Most people use Scripture to prove something they are doing is right because the Bible doesn’t explicitly forbid it.

If we want to know what God really wants us to do, we will, “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (Second Timothy 2:15). We will look careful to make sure we understand the path God wants us to take. If we are uncertain, we should not take any risks. Our souls depend on our decisions.

Sandra Oliver

As summer arrives, my mind always thinks of bouquets–and weddings! (Possibly more this year because two daughters are planning their weddings, too!) What an exciting time! I think it is a great idea to pass around a notebook at the bride-to-be’s shower and let everyone share words of wisdom with her. As women who trust in the Lord, let’s use these opportunities to give godly advice. I love the beautiful wording used in Proverbs 31:11, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” In what ways can a godly woman build her husband’s trust?

To start things off, if you are preparing for marriage, and you have said “yes” to a non-Christian man, please stop and re-evaluate. How can two people with different goals reach the same destination? If your heart belongs to God, and his doesn’t, you will not be serving the same master. There will be strife in your home, guaranteed. Please make time to read 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. God warns us against such bonds, and marriage is the closest bond that we make here on earth.

If you are engaged to a Christian, your new husband will want to see that your love for God is the greatest love of all–even above your love for him (Mark 12:30). He should know that you will base your decisions on His approval first, and because you do this, you will strive to be the helpmeet that God wants you to be. Putting our love in the correct priority, God is our first love, and next in order will rightly be our husband. This may not be an issue at the start, but if children are added to the mix, your husband should still be priority over them. We are instructed to leave our father and mother and become one with him, not with our children. (Genesis 2:24) One of the best “gifts” we give our children is to love their daddy.

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Let your husband see that you will use your words to build him up and not to tear him down. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4) You prayed for this man, and chose to be his, now you should honor him accordingly, just as Sarah did. (1 Peter 3:5-6) Find areas in which you can compliment him, not only to others, but to him as well.

Your husband should trust that he is the only one that your intimate love will go to. “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” (Song of Solomon 6:3a) Our husband is the only man that we should flirt with and tease in a sexual, playful way. If we find ourselves dressing or acting in a certain way around another man, then it’s time for an “about face.” Office relationships can be dangerous because of the sheer amount of time spent sitting next to someone. If you see yourself getting too close to a man at your workplace, it’s time to switch jobs. Your marriage is worth it. One thing we gave our daughters in their early teen years was a purity ring. It was to remind them to keep themselves for the husband someday. They give these to their groom on their wedding day. Maybe still wearing this purity ring after the ceremony wouldn’t be such a bad idea? A constant reminder, alongside their wedding band,  to keep themselves only for their husband.

Next, your husband should see that your heart is in your home. “A wise woman builds her house.” (Proverbs 14:1) The world around will call you to do many things, but a woman in her greatest capacity will work to create a godly home. Titus 2:5 gives us more encouragement in this area also. If you are an older Christian woman, take time to encourage a young woman to be a homemaker. Let’s make our homes a peaceful place of comfort and use our time there wisely. (Proverbs 31:27)

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Express to your hubby that you, Lord–willing, want to bear his children. You may think this is a “given” in a Christian marriage, but some couples choose not to have a family. Medical reasons are understandable, but choosing not to have children is not what the Scriptures teach. God told Noah and his sons to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 9:1). He certainly did not expect this one family to fill the earth! Of all the people to populate  the earth, shouldn’t we, as Christians, want to bring more children into this world to train as soldiers for the Lord?

This leads right into our next objective for a godly marriage, that you will “think souls.” Not only will you train the “arrows” that God blesses you with, but your husband will see you looking for, and reaching out to those who are searching. “He who is wise wins souls.” (Proverbs 11:30) We should not be Christians in name only. Concentrate on not seeing people as neighbors, co-workers, or salesman, but as lost souls who need the saving Message. Let your door be open to inviting friends over to see how warm a Christian home can be. Who knows who your next guest may be? (Hebrews 13:2)

Let your husband see that you will be content–wherever you are, and in every circumstance. It is my opinion that many young couples expect too much, right from the start. It takes many years of working together to build a home. Be content with what you have been given. I received a wedding gift of a hand-stitched picture that simply states, “Home Sweet Home.” It has hung in every home we’ve shared, whether it was a mobile home, apartment, or a single family home. It reminds me that wherever my husband and I are together, THAT is home. “…for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Philippians 4:11)

Finally, we will look only at the second part of our key verse, “and he will have no lack of gain,” (Proverbs 31:11b) His heart trusts in her because she helps to build their home. A couple devoted to God and each other will benefit not only their spouse, but the Kingdom as well. What a beautiful image we read of in Ephesians 5:22-33 where two people come together as one, just as Christ has only one bride. Husbands love their wives as their own flesh, and the wife respects her husband.

As those around us preach distorted messages of what makes a couple, and what makes a family, let us uphold God’s definitions. If the Lord has blessed you with a godly husband, and you have had years to grow together, take time to encourage a young wife in His ways, and in what worked for you. Be proud of what the Lord has done for you. “She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26).

Robin Martin

Are you familiar with something called a Chapter 11? If so, did a chill just run down your spine? Chapter 11 is the result of financial ruin and requires declaring bankruptcy. But following the devastation of a Chapter 11, a fresh, new start is possible when all priorities are reorganized and restructured.

Did you know that King David, a scriptural hero, experienced a chapter 11 disaster? His life lay in ruin – just not in the financial sense. But, in II Samuel 11, King David found himself spiritually bankrupt by his sins of pride, lust, adultery, and murder. (Yikes, these are a serious list by anyone’s standard.) David had tumbled so deeply it took a “come-to-Jesus” meeting with Nathan before he recognized his sin. Then, like with financial bankruptcy, David began the painful process of restructuring and reorganizing his faith priorities.

As king, David could have swept the entire adultery/murder fiasco under his Persian rug. But as David’s life lay in ruin, he cried out to God for cleansing. Then, David did what he did so well: He wrote of his sin and redemption for all to read. His painful journey is publicly recorded in Psalm 51. Here is the short of it:

(Psalm 51:3-4) David ADMITTED his sin. “I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.”

(Psalm 51: 10) David SUBMITTTED his heart back to God. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

(Psalm 51:13) David COMMITTED to using his tragedy to help others. “Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You.”

Our lives will contain a broken chapter 11 somewhere along our journey. Our sinful pride will bring seasons of hardship, trials, and faith-weakness. But, friend, take heart. David’s legacy was not defined by one unfortunate chapter. Following the disaster of chapter 11, David found the Father’s sweet redemption in chapter 12. When we admit our sin, submit our hearts back to God, and commit ourselves to saving others, our priorities will be restructured and reorganized, and God’s precious grace and redemption will reclaim us as His own.

Father God, O what love you show us through Your redemption! Thank you!

Blessings of sweet redemption,

Rita Cochrane

Ephesians 4:24 “And to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” ESV

Several years ago, when our family lost a brother to addiction, I was forever grateful to friends who loved us and prayed us through the tragedy. About a year following Mark’s death, one of those friends dropped by my house. (Now, this was one of those dear ones who speaks straight truth in Christian love, with a side of, “Bless your heart.”)

In my entryway sat a large potted plant from my brother’s funeral. Adorning this peace lily was an enormous white funeral bow I had left intact just as the florist had delivered. My sweet friend pointed at it and said, “I’m going to tell you this because I love you. That bow screams, ‘funeral home!’ You need to take it off.”

After she said this, I did recall previous guests commenting on my funeral plant, but it never dawned on me why they assumed it came from a funeral. Obviously, my friend was right. So without hesitation, I removed the bow, realizing that indeed this screaming funeral-bow announced the plant’s origin.

Our lives are so very reminiscent of that funeral bow. Our actions as Christians should shout to the world that we are God’s children and possess His godly DNA. His righteousness and holiness should be seen in us.

So consider this. . .

As we stand in that slow grocery store check-out line, is God’s goodness evident in all we say and do?  If we begin those heavy sighs, those eye rolls, and we strain on tip-toes to glare at the problem customer holding up progress, do others see the Father’s patience in us? Or just perhaps do those obnoxious sighs and hateful stares scream to the rest of the patrons, “Hurry Up! I’m more important than you!”

Bleacher-sitting at our child’s ballgame when the ump makes a ridiculous call, do our loud shouts and exaggerated arm gestures suggest to the spectators and players that we are children of God? Do others hear the Father’s holiness coming from us amidst our deafening insults?

Each day offers us opportunities to shine God’s righteousness and holiness. When the fruit of God’s spirit dwells within us, our actions will shout to the world (like a funeral bow) our origin. And friend, we are children of the Heavenly Father.

Father God, help us to meet each opportunity in a manner that demonstrates Your holiness. 

Blessings,

Rita Cochrane

This is from the heart of an older woman to those younger women who are wives and mothers.  My hope is to encourage you and challenge you in your very important role.

I’ve titled this lesson “Their Hearts Are in Your Hands,” based on one line from a song that is 35 years old.  Styx’s song “Babe” has a line in it that sobers me when I think about my husband and my daughters:  “my heart is in your hands”

Do you realize the power we have? Our words. Our actions. Our moods.   Our examples. We have a great influence in our family.

In this lesson, I will address you as if we were talking face to face, but please know that I am addressing myself as well.

Your husband’s heart is in your hands!

Can he trust you with his heart?

Your husband needs to know you love and respect him. One way to show this is by being grateful. Tell him how very thankful you are for all he does for you and for your family. Never ever EVER make him feel like he’s not good enough! Live within your means. If you don’t have the money to go here or eat there, live in gratitude anyway. Be proud of your husband and how he provides for you. His heart is in your hands!

Your husband needs to know that you will always be faithful to him. Never go to a book or a movie or the internet to find fulfillment. I’m sure you wouldn’t want him to go elsewhere. Make sure he knows that he’s your only superman, your only hero, your only love. His heart is in your hands!

Your husband needs to feel safe to reveal himself to you. Never tell his secrets, his weaknesses, or your “marital issues” to others. If your girlfriends are bashing their husbands or their marriages, please don’t join in. Talking about others is called gossip, and it’s wrong. It’s good to keep things where they belong. If you’re having issues with the checkbook, leave it there. If it’s the in-laws, leave it there. If it’s the bedroom, PLEASE leave it there. Remember his heart is in your hands!

Your husband needs to know you’re living for Christ, and that you’re being a godly mother. Are you practicing your Christianity throughout the week? Are you training your little boys and girls to love Jesus? Do you do your Bible class homework? Do you help your children learn their verses and Bible stories for their classes? These are all so important to your husband’s well-being. He needs to know that while he is at work, you are also at work in your role. A good man wants his family to go to heaven with him. Keep striving and growing in this area. His heart is in your hands!

Your child’s heart is in your hands!

She doesn’t even know that you have her heart in your hands – but you do. Please be careful! Use your power for good and for God. [note:  I’ll be using the pronouns she and her (had to choose one or the other) – obviously this goes for boys, too.]

You’re preparing her heart to serve God and others. You’re preparing her heart to love. Show her that she is beautiful, that she is important, that she is loved. Below are some do’s and don’t’s to keep in mind when tending to her heart.

Always listen to her. She may talk about childish things and have childish concerns – she’s supposed to. Never pretend to listen while your eyes are on a screen. That’s just rude! Show her by your example how to be a good listener. Show her that her words are important and valuable to you. Her heart is in your hands!

Always “light up” when she enters a room. Really! Look up and smile at her.    Every time. Let her see the love you have for her in your eyes and in your smile. You are her example, and this will teach her how to respond to the people she loves. Her heart is in your hands!

Always let her help. This is difficult sometimes, but so important. There will always be something she can do to help. You may need to be creative, but keep at it. This will allow her to take over some responsibilities as she grows up. Letting her contribute shows her that she is valuable and an important part of the family. Her heart is in your hands!

Always forgive completely. You know, the way you want to be forgiven. Clean-slate forgiven! Past mistakes should never be brought up to her again. Remember I mentioned not gossiping about your husband? The same goes for your children. Her heart is in your hands!

Never spoil her. Ever. Teach her the value of “making do” with what she has. Show her how to make things instead of buying them. Show her how to wait for things. Show her how to do without. This will aid her so much in life! She will be a better spouse, a better parent, and a better Christian later in life if she is taught to live within your means now. Gratitude is such an important virtue. Teach it early and often. Her heart is in your hands!

Finally (and most importantly), always protect her spiritual heart. Teach her God’s Word. Teach her to love God’s people. Teach her to think logically.  Teach her how to study God’s Word for herself. You are preparing her to follow God on her own someday—give her all the tools she’ll need.

It won’t be long before her heart will be in His hands!

The Golden Rule

Basically, this whole lesson comes down to following the Golden Rule.

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.”  Matthew 7:12a

Think how easily you could break your husband’s or your child’s heart (and spirit). Treat their hearts the way you would want them to treat your heart!

It’s true: Their hearts are in your hands!

Related verses:
Proverbs 26:20; Proverbs 31; Matthew 7:12; Matthew 18:21-35; Romans 12;   Ephesians 5:22-24; Titus 2:2-5

By Jennifer Jensen

I Samuel 25:17-18a “Now therefore, know and consider what you will do… Then Abigail made haste…”

Don’t we love to wake up to the perfect start of our day? The coffee is hot, inbox is purged, google calendar is updated, and to top it off, it’s a good hair day. But then without warning, craziness and pandemonium roll in like an avalanche threatening suffocation.

One thing is for sure: “Crazy” always arrives unwelcomed, and once on the scene, crazy spreads like crazy. But if we think about it, life was never intended for perpetual bliss. (Oh, that place exists, but not on this side of eternity.) So, for here and now, our earthly moments of calm will be hijacked by crazy!

I’m so grateful, scripture offers us mentors to guide us through the craziness of life. My favorite is Abigail because she remains forever calm on the pages of scripture.

Sweet Abigail was married to foolish Nabal, who, amid her holiday preparation, threw her world into chaos. Solving this debacle was placed solely upon Abigail when a servant appealed to her:

“Now therefore, know and consider what you will do… Then Abigail made haste…” (I Samuel 25:17-18a)

If you read her story, you might be astounded at how Abigail kept her calm. She did not fly off the handle nor make threats. She did not sit to stew over it. Instead, she, “made haste” to solve the issue.

How did Abigail triumph so quickly? Let me suggest that prior to that day, residing within Abigail’s heart was a moral compass calibrated towards God. There was no need for her to delay action so that she might consider godly plans and options. Her values steered her towards humility, peace, generosity, respect, and calm. These practices already lived within her heart.

An ill-calibrated moral compass leads us to fly-off-the-handle when things go wrong. Anger and revenge become our landing place and righteous judgement gets crowded out. But living a life immersed in God’s Word instills within us a moral compass that inspires and guides us to peaceful godly solutions.

I want to be like Abigail when I grow up. Now before you laugh, remember, today is a new day. Anything is possible! So, friend, join me in recalibrating our compass towards God, so when crazy shows up (and it will), we will be Abigail-ready!

Father God, may we seek you as our destination for all the chaos life brings.

Blessings,

Rita Cochrane

So here I am, walking through life, growing up, getting married, becoming a mother, soon becoming a mother in law, when out of the blue Kristy Huntsman comes along and BAM, I’m editor of a new feature, “From The Heart Of An Older Woman”. When did “older” happen??!!!  Surely not me! Why, on the inside I still feel like that confused teenager just trying to figure life out. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years is that if you think someone looks like they have it all together, they’re possibly faking it! And of all the people in the world to have any wisdom or knowledge to help younger women, what on earth can I possibly offer, because I’m still that teenager!

No, wait, I’m not a teenager. I did find that great Christian guy who promised to love me “until death we do part”, but old age and death was so far away. So now I’m a shiny new wife, and I realize just how much I have NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING! I began consuming books on being a great wife, of course I went to the Bible to see what God expected of me. And then came the questions, “Am I submitting to my husband enough?” “Does my husband feel comfortable in the home I lovingly decorated? Will I ever conquer homemaking?”  Married life went on, we had our struggles and our triumphs, and after some time we had a baby, bringing a whole new season of my life: motherhood.

So now I’m a young mother, and I realize just how much I have NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING! I consumed parenting books, some written by Christian authors and some not, I went to God’s word for advice (hmm, spanking doesn’t kill them, good to know) and I prayed. Oh how I prayed. I wanted so much for this little soul who God had placed in my care. I wanted him to grow physically, mentally, and spiritually. I poured my life into this one child and then wait a minute, what’s this? Now I have two children? And they’re not the same?  It becomes  a racing game, this child has this need, while this child has that need, and the questions always circling through my brain, “Am I doing enough?” “What am I missing in their raising that I can improve upon tomorrow?” “How on earth will I ever conquer homemaking with two children in the house???”  And the diaper years (will they ever be totally potty trained?)  became the toddler years, the toddler years (more juice, more goldfish crackers, more hugs and snuggles?) became the pre-school years, the pre-school years (are their minds being stimulated enough?) became the school years, and I still had the sneaking suspicion  that all the other parents had it all figured out while I was totally faking it.

And so my little family kept cruising through life, some days I felt like I had it all together, but most days I was sure I did not. Am I still honoring my husband as well as I should? Am I raising my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord enough? Is my family’s light shining as an example of what a Christian family ought to be? Am I making sure that we’re living a Christian life behind closed doors, and not just when everyone is looking ? And hey, will I EVER conquer homemaking?

And the school years became the tween years (IMPENDING PUBERTY, AAAAAGH!) and the tween years became the teen years (oh, this isn’t so bad) and with the teen years came two very late nights  (several years apart) in which a head peaked into our bedroom as we prepared for bed, and with humble, sincere hearts, let us know that they were ready to put on their Lord in baptism. Oh those were shining nights! Goodbye sleep, hello church building in the wee hours, and then I’m hugging my precious new sibling in Christ, perhaps I’m doing something right! The day is coming when I will be handing my child’s life into their own hands, they will be a child no more. The teen years become years of shifting, letting the kite string out, so to speak, as they learn to navigate their life on their own, and oh how I want to be sure to give room where needed, while tugging that string back at the appropriate times. The day is coming when my” kites” will fly on their own, but not yet, oh not yet.
So my teens keep growing, and romance enters the picture, yikes! Young hearts opening up to let another in, oh yes I prayed! I prayed and talked, encouraged and informed. Did I teach enough about being equally vs. unequally yoked?  Did I teach enough about guarding the heart? Did I teach enough about guarding purity? Did I teach enough about cherishing the other person’s heart and purity? Ongoing conversations, prayers for wisdom, knowing that there’s still a younger sibling who is watching all this and who will walk this road one day as well. I began praying for my children’s future spouses back when my own children were infants, is this one the one for whom I’ve been praying all these years? (Yes, she is, and will be changing her name to Sparks this May!)

Oh, and will I EVER conquer homemaking???

And then one day, I am asked to become the editor for a monthly series for Come Fill Your Cup on “From The Heart Of An Older Woman”, and I realize that somewhere in all those years of diapers and sippy cups and school work, I have become an older woman. One who maybe has some things figured out…well, enough to help those just starting out upon the path that I am now 43 years along. I, with some much wiser older women, will be writing articles targeted toward helping those young teens, those newlyweds, those new moms so unsure of themselves and yet wanting with all their hearts to be the Christian women God wants them to be. I will be counting on the talents of much wiser and yes, older, women to help me out. You see, I’m still growing. I’m still learning to navigate through new waters, such as being a mother-in-law, calmly accepting those wrinkles, becoming a grandparent,  and learning more and more to accept the fact that all of this is looking forward to the end of my life, and that day when I must stand before God and give account for my life. At the end of it all, the only words I want to hear are, “Well done faithful servant”, but I need all the help I can get, and I know there are so many women out there who feel the same way.  And so this monthly article will be here to help all of us, no matter where we are on the path of life, to learn about the twists and turns that life can throw at us. We will be learning from older Christian women who are up ahead, clearing the path and looking back to cheer us all on our eternal journey.

And hey, along the way maybe they can help me conquer homemaking!

Karla Sparks