Several events of deaths have taken place over the past few months.  One a co-worker, three who were Christians, and two of these Christians, one I never met, but knew through his sermons.

My husband was the first anyone very close to me died, and even now the loss is still felt, and now another has gone to paradise, a place of honor and much comfort for those who were faithful and died in Christ.

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.”      Psalm 116:15

During the time of bereavement I have had several statements made to me which are most hurtful.  In many ways I feel reprimanded for weeping over the losses.  People grieve in different ways.  Some weep easily, and some not so easily, and yet again, though tears may not flow from some, they still grieve in their own way.

“A time to weep , and a time to laugh;  a time to mourn, and a time to dance;   . . . .”    Ecclesiastes 3:4

When those whom we love depart this life, it leaves an emptiness in our lives, and we weep.  It’s not we are not joyful they have died in the Lord, but the loss of never having them around anymore leaves a heart empty and in need of comforting.

There is much a person will have to go through in life when the loss of a child, mate, parent, or close friend departs this life.  The loss of the person is felt every day.  The chair their loved one once sat in is now empty, the place they sat in the pew is now vacant, a house once filled with conversation and laughter is now quiet, the roads once traveled are now memories, the cell phone is silent, an empty place at the table, trips by yourself, meals by yourself, and one must gather strength to go on.

“Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”
James 1:27

I wonder if some cannot be touched with grief.  Have we become so stoic we no longer feel for others who do weep?  Have we built a wall around our hearts so strong we have no emotion about the losses suffered by others?   Have we learned to control our emotions to the extent we have no feeling?  Is this the way we would want to be treated?

“Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them:  for this is the law and the prophets.”   Matthew 7:12

The fire department, police, and emergency personnel distance themselves from emotion when they have emergency situations to handle.  And some, though emergency personnel, suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome from seeing so many tragedies.

Distancing ourselves from brethren, because we are “uncomfortable” around those who are grieving is unfeeling for another. Telling them their “loved ones have gone to a far better place”  and “they would not want to come back if they could”  may be true.  To have no compassionate words for those left behind is unbecoming of anyone.

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;  Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”     II Corinthians 1:4-5

“The age we live in is selfish and self-centered in many ways.  If we fail to weep with those who weep because we want to avoid being hurt ourselves, are we not conforming to the world of selfishness and self-centeredness?”

In the inspiration of Scripture, we read of Lazarus’ death.  Lazarus had been dead for four days and when Jesus arrived at his home.  He wept.  He experienced everything we face in this life.  He is touched with our infirmities.  He knows our hearts are saddened by the loss of loved ones, for He felt the same as we.  He didn’t reprimand those who lost loved ones and were grieving.  He knew the emptiness of their hearts and grieved with them.  This is the example of the Master Teacher.

“For we have not an high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.”   Hebrews 4:15

“Therefore when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled.”    John 11:33

And the Son of God wept as they.

“Jesus wept.”  John 11:35

He had great sympathy for Martha and Mary and their loss.  What a beautiful example He gave to us in “weeping with those who weep.”

When others mourn, let us be careful with our words and encourage and comfort those who have suffered loss.

“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”     Psalms 147:3

Eileen Light