Are you one of those people that hates to ask for advice? I feel certain there are some of you reading this that don’t like to ask for it, and some don’t like to be given advice.

One of the problems with seeking advice is that we often go to those whom we know will advise us to do what we want to do. We are really just seeking affirmation and not advice.

Rehoboam is the first person that comes to my mind when I think about seeking advice. He asked for it, but he ended up doing exactly what he had in mind from the beginning.

The people of Israel were about to be divided because of King Solomon’s sin. God had been chosen Jeroboam as the king over ten tribes and Rehoboam over the tribe of Judah.

All of Israel came together to name Rehoboam king. Jeroboam had been hiding in Egypt, but he came to stand before Rehoboam to ask him to lighten the work that King Solomon had put on the people.

Rehoboam wanted to think about the situation for three days. He met with the old men who had advised Solomon. They told him, “If you will be a servant to this people today and serve them, and speak good words to them when you answer them, then they will be your servants forever” (First Kings 12:7 ESV).  

Then he went to the young men, his friends. They said, “Your father made our yoke heavy, but you lighten it for us, thus shall you say to them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s thigh. And now, whereas my father laid on you a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke. My father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions’” (verses 10-11).

Whose advice do you think he took? He took the young men’s advice. The people rebelled, and only the house of Judah followed Rehoboam.

Why do we have such a difficult time even listening to advice? Is it because we think we ought to always make our own decisions? Is it because we think we are infallible? Maybe it’s because we don’t want people to perceive us as weak or unable to make decisions.

We have an example of a powerful man who was given advice, and the outcome was very different. Earlier in scripture, in the book of Exodus, we read about an incident in the life of Moses. This happened not too long after he had led the Children of Israel out of Egypt.

Jethro, the father-in-law of Moses, travelled to the wilderness where Moses and the people were camped. The purpose of his visit was to deliver Moses’ wife and sons to him.

When Jethro arrived, the two men discussed what had taken place since they were last together, and Jethro rejoiced that Moses and the people had been safely delivered from Pharaoh.

The next day, Moses sat down to judge the people. He had people standing before him from morning till evening seeking his advice and others having him settle arguments that had arisen among them.

When Jethro saw how difficult this was for Moses, he gave him some advice. He said, “Look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. And let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you, but any small matter they shall decide themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you” (Exodus 18:21-22).

Moses listened to his father-in-law. He didn’t think he was trying to take over his position. He knew Jethro was older and wiser, and he was only trying to make things easier for him.

It would seem that we have opposite reactions to listening to advice. How should we react?

Paul gave advice to the young preacher, Titus, to teach older men and women how they should advise the younger men and women. First, Titus was to instruct the older men to be “sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.” Older women were to be, “reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine” (Titus 2:2-3).

The older women should then train the young women to “love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands.”

The older men were to “urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us” (Titus 2:6-8).

I think those of the younger generation often resent the advice of older people. The perception is that “they just don’t understand” or “they are just being old fashioned.” Proverbs 16:31 says, “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.”

If you know one of those gray-haired little old ladies or gentlemen, don’t be afraid or ashamed to listen to a little advice. If you could ask Rehoboam, he would probably tell you he wishes he had listened to the old men and not the younger.

Sandra Oliver