Not every woman wants children, but I think most of us do. I have a close friend that chose not to have children. She and her husband have very difficult family situations, and they made that choice.
I have another friend that chose not to have children and actually had a legal document drawn up that both she and her husband signed making it binding that he would not expect her to have a child.
Hannah did not fit into either of these situations. Hannah desperately wanted a child. She struggled with being childless. Some of you know how she felt.
Hannah’s story is found in I Samuel 1. She was one of two wives of a man named Elkanah. He appears from the text to have been a wealthy man, and he loved Hannah.
Verse 2 of our text tells us that Hannah had no children. Verse 6 tells us that her adversary provoked her. Verse 7 tells us that, in her anguish, she cried and refused to eat.
Not only did Hannah suffer for being childless; but she also had to contend with Peninnah, the other wife, constantly making comments about her not having children. Can’t you just hear Peninnah? “Look at all the children I have given Elkanah.” Look at you. You have no children. What good are you, a Jewish woman that can’t get pregnant?”
When it came time to offer their yearly sacrifice to God, Elkanah gave Peninnah and her sons and daughters portions, but to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her (verse 5). He couldn’t understand why she wasn’t satisfied with his loving her.
Sadly, Elkanah did not have the advice of the apostle Peter. Peter said, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (I Peter 3:7). He just didn’t have the understanding heart he needed. Husbands of the childless need that understanding heart in order to have the proper relationship to God in prayer.
Still Hannah grieved, and she did the only thing she could do. She turned to God. Scripture says, “And she was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly” (I Samuel 1:10 ESV).
In her prayer, Hannah made a vow to God. She promised Him that if He would give her a son, she would “give him to the Lord all the days of his life” (verse 11).
The Lord did answer her prayer, and she fulfilled her promise and gave her son to the Lord. She turned him over to the priest, Eli, to care for. He was brought up in an environment of service to God.
So, how does this relate to those of you who remain childless? Is there an answer to your struggle in the story of Hannah? There may not be total acceptance in your struggle, but I think there is comfort in her story.
First, Hannah continued to serve God. She didn’t refuse to go to worship God with her family. She didn’t blame God for her problems.
Hebrews 10:25 admonishes us not to forsake the assembly. God does not want us to neglect our worship to Him because of our struggles.
Second, Hannah did not retaliate for Peninnah’s reproaches. Hannah was an example of meekness.
There may be those that say unkind things about your situation or ask insensitive questions. Don’t resort to retaliation. Remember the words of Paul in I Thessalonians 5:15, “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.”
Third, Hannah prayed. When she prayed, she did not do so in anger. She exhibited humility by calling herself God’s handmaid.
When you don’t know what to pray or what to ask of God remember Paul’s words in Romans 8:26-27, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”
In our prayers, we must also remember the words of Paul in Acts 21:14. When Agabus foretold of Paul’s being bound in Jerusalem, Paul told those with him that he was ready to be bound and even to die. Then he said, “Let the will of the Lord be done.”
We have no idea what the Lord has planned for us. If we will pray for those things we need and desire, God will hear us; but we must be willing to allow His will to be done. He knows things we don’t know.
God granted Hannah’s request. He gave her the son she desired, but remember that she had made a promise to God. She promised to give him back to God, and she did just that. She gave him to Eli when he was weaned, and she only visited him once a year (I Samuel 2:19).
Nothing can separate us from the love of God, including tribulation, distress, or persecution. We are conquerors through Jesus who loved us. If your struggle is being childless, know that God knows, and He understands. You may feel it is a trial, a tribulation, even a persecution; but don’t allow it to separate you from God.
Sandra Oliver
(Next week we will talk about the struggle of being pregnant and unmarried, the story of Mary, Matthew 1).