Recently I was reacquainted with a writing of my dearly departed husband Duane Bender. As a Gospel Preacher, he was asked many questions. On one occasion, a woman in the church asked if he would write a brief description of how I had been a help to him as his wife of 45 and one half years. In particular she wondered how I supported him in his work for the Lord. It is a joy to share with women of faith my husband’s precious words which are endearing to me to this very day. It is my hope that this writing will serve as a window into the heart of a Godly man and what mattered most to him as he revealed how I was a “helpmeet” as his wife.
“You ask, “How does my wife help in my work?” When darkness is all around, she is my sunshine that warms my heart. She can be for me the twinkling stars and moonbeams all in one. She understands me, when no one else does. When talking things over, she really listens, and even knows what’s on my mind without a word being spoken. She knows those times when more can be said by simply taking my hand in hers and giving a little squeeze. When I am down, she lifts me up. When I go beyond reality, she brings me back. When depressed, she is my counselor; when agonizing over a difficult decision, she is my adviser.
She always gives wise counsel when looking to the future. She never embarrasses me and always holds me in high honor before her and others. She is always a lady before man and God. Her dedication to God is an inspiration for all, and her knowledge and understanding of the scripture is unquestioned. She is a jealous protector of me to any who may speak wrongly of me. She is my foundation rock that I know is always there, my anchor that holds firm through any storm.
She shares with me my hopes, dreams and feelings. She makes our times together so happy and our marriage so very special. She gives to me a love that could only come from the heart of God. She helps so many ways that words would run out before all were covered. That’s why I keep loving you, Betty, more and more each day…for all the wonderful things you do, for all the wonderful things you are to me. –Duane
Betty S. Bender