Have you ever felt so low your heart did not feel like singing, nor listening to music?  When the heart is troubled and saddened over losses or troubles, sometimes it is hard to put a smile on your face and a song in your heart.  I have had it said to me by various acquaintances when a loved one dies you should rejoice because they are in paradise.  They may have meant well, but the statement sounded rather insensitive to me, and not the right time nor the correct place.  Even our Lord cried when Lazarus died.  Sometimes it is just better not to say anything than tell people who have lost loved ones they’ve gone to a far better place.  Those left behind who are faithful Christians know this, but we must allow them to grieve and their heart to catch up – so to speak.

“Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying unto Him, Lord, if Thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.  When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, He groaned in the spirit, and was troubled, And said, Where have ye laid Him?  They said unto Him, Lord, come and see.  Jesus wept.  Then said the Jews, Behold how He loved Him.”    John 11: 32-36

“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”    Romans 12:15

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”     Ephesians 4:32

“They didn’t feel like singing.  They felt like crying.  For they were captives in Babylon, foot-sore, hand-calloused and heart-wounded.  Why the request came, we cannot be sure.  It may have been a taunt, hateful ridicule, or mad derision.  However, it could have been no more than curiosity, seeking to hear the songs of foreigners.

“Their answer for not complying was, ‘How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a strange land?’  It wasn’t the place.  Nor the time.  It was not proper to force from their lips what the heart did not feel.

“They were so opposed to the request and so outraged by it that they said, ‘If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning . . . let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth.’  They refused to forget Jerusalem’s calamities.  It pressed them with anxiety and pain.  One doesn’t sing and make merry when a loved one is dying, nor when the flag of the oppressor is hoisted above him.  Under the circumstances, they felt that if they should ever be tempted to act out of keeping with the sad facts, it would be better for their right hand to be stilled and their tongue to be silenced.  Their example inspires us.”      ~ Leroy Brownlow

Be thoughtful.  Be kind.  Be understanding.  At some point, you, too, will be in their shoes, and an understanding heart and words of encouragement go a long way toward the healing of their heart.  Just knowing one is beside us makes all the difference.  No words have to be spoken.  Just be a shoulder and allow them to speak when they are ready.  It takes some time to get through grief from the loss of a loved one, but God is with us and understands our hearts, our tears and our fear of the future without them.

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”     ~ Unknown

Eileen Light