“I was wrong.” Those three words feel like fire and ash coming out of our mouths. When we speak these three words, they really bring us back to reality and off of the ivory tower we have placed our pride upon. They remind us we are human. They remind us of humility, and of grace. They remind us we are growing. As I reflect on the difficulty we all face in conceding these words, I’ve found that yes, these words leak strenuously from our mouths, but there is another three word phrase that we find even more abhorrent.
I love you.
Say what? Isn’t I love you…like..the best phrase ever? How can saying “I love you.” be so revolting? Admitting we are wrong is said because we need to make a change that we alone can control. The confession of wrongdoing is hard, but most sane people can muster out apologies. Saying “I love you.” is even more of a challenge. We can’t control the people we choose to love. Choosing to say these words leave our hearts vulnerable. We have no control over what that person will do with our love.
Try to say “I love you.” to the terrorists who are beheading innocent people.
Try to say “I love you.” to the coworker, who continues to stab you in the back.
Try to say “I love you.” to the man who viciously raped your daughter.
Try to say “I love you.” to the person who is slandering your name, values, and character.
Try to say “I love you.” to the “minister” who sexually abused your son.
Try to say “I love you.” to your repeatedly unfaithful spouse.
In these instances, you have no control. Deep down, you yearn for an apology, but for most; it simply isn’t given. Saying “I love you.” is choosing to move one and continue to be a blessing to those who hurt us whether amends are made or not.
That. Is. Hard.
“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
The Omnipotent God of the Universe made his love unconditional. He made his love vulnerable and open to manipulation. Oh, how we manipulated it. Regardless, God pulls us in really close, and whispers through his son’s sacrifice, “ I love you this much. You go and love likewise.” I do not want to love like this. I fight it. I hate to admit it. Most of you do too.
The demand of the cross is steep. People are delusional when they tell you following Christ is easy; that following Christ is safe. In The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis, when describing Aslan the lion, little Susan asks,
“Is he quite safe?”
“Safe?” Said Mr Beaver, “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.”
Choosing to love the unlovable isn’t safe; isn’t natural even, but it is good. Choosing to imitate God’s unconditional love is far, far from safe, but it is good. God is good.
God is love (1 John 4:16). He personifies love. You and I are not love. We can try to love, but we cannot do this perfectly. How do we carry the responsibility of love? Jesus. We cannot love like Jesus if we are not pursuing Jesus.
When we cling to Jesus, his power within us loves others through us.
In the parable of the vine and the branches, (John 15:1-10) Jesus says, “Apart from me you can do nothing.”
Saying “I love you.” isn’t safe, but it is good. Saying “I love you.” to those who don’t deserve it isn’t logical. It’s just not natural. But that’s the point. We follow and imitate the super-natural. It is good because we have an opportunity to rip completely open the hearts, and blow the minds of stubborn unbelievers leaving them vulnerable to the greatest love they will ever know. Jesus living in us, makes this possible. The struggle between the natural (flesh) and the spirit is a life long confrontation, but it’s so worth the fight. Work on saying “I love you.” and mean it.