Mary’s story is not your usual story. We can’t relate to the particular situation because we cannot become pregnant by this miraculous method. What some of you might relate to is the situation of being pregnant and unmarried.

Matthew 1 relates Mary’s situation to us. “Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 1:18 ESV).

The betrothal between Mary and Joseph was much different than an engagement is to us today. In order to terminate the betrothal, they had to go through a process like a divorce. The betrothal was a binding agreement, and Mary’s pregnancy would have been grounds for Joseph to “divorce” her and submit her to shame.

Fortunately, an angel appeared to Joseph and told him not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife. The angel also told him that the child she was carrying was from the Holy Spirit. This angel also told him that her child would be a son, and they were to call his name Jesus. This child would save people from their sins (Matthew 1:19-21).

If you can let your mind put you in the place of Mary, how do think you would feel? Would you be worried? Would you be scared? Would you feel an uncertainty about the future? I feel certain Mary felt all of these emotions and more.

If you are or have been pregnant and unmarried, you may have felt or are feeling some of these same emotions. Maybe you are struggling with being alone with no one to help you through this difficult time.

Let’s look at Mary’s reaction. In Luke 1:29, scripture tells us that Mary was “greatly troubled” at what the angel told her. Then she tried to understand why the angel had called her “O favored one” (verse 28) and why he said that the Lord was with her.

As she pondered the things the angel said, he continued with the details. He said, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus” (Luke 130-31). The angel continued with what this child would mean to the Jewish nation and to His future kingdom.

So, how did Mary handle her situation?

First, Mary accepted the situation in which she found herself. At this point she had no idea what Joseph would say or if he would still marry her. That is often the case with women today. They may have no idea what the father of their child will do or say. In Mary’s case, she made a conscious choice to accept what was happening to her.

Accepting the situations in which we find ourselves is often the first step in healing our hearts and minds. It doesn’t change the situation, but it does make us face it head on and allows us to begin to work out a solution.

Second, Mary sought help from a relative. Mary went to visit her cousin, Elizabeth, who also happened to be expecting a baby (Luke 1:39-45). Just think of the things they would have talked about.

One should not have to face a pregnancy alone. Everyone needs someone. Everyone needs a friend or relative on which they can depend. Seek the help of someone who will not judge you but someone who will help you sort through the issues and help you make a plan.

Mary’s third reaction was that of praise to God. It is understandable that a woman might not feel like praising God for an unwanted pregnancy, but think for a moment about the gift of life. Life is given to us by God Himself. “The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples mad by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything” (Acts 17:24-15). Keep reading in Acts 17, and you will find comfort in being God’s offspring.

I suspect that Mary and Joseph spent time in prayer concerning their situation and this special child. Paul tells us in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by payer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

If you find yourself struggling with being pregnant and unmarried, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (I Peter 5:7).

Sandra Oliver

(Next week we will discuss, “When I Struggle With The Loss of A Child”, the story of Bathsheba in II Samuel 12).